


Under the Blood Soaked Mask

by FlOrangey



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Akira has a Palace AU, Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Gen, Panic Attacks, Psychological Trauma, nearsighted!Akira, some canon divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2017-06-15
Packaged: 2018-11-10 10:39:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 36,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11125416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlOrangey/pseuds/FlOrangey
Summary: Their plan worked. However while they knew the risks, none of them thought of the consequences. Not even their leader, until it was too late. The events of Akira's interrogation begin to haunt him in his dreams, and the weight of the world and the year begins to crush him.Then when his mask breaks, Makoto and the others are forced to put their plans on hold to take on one extra mission. A mission to save their friend, even if it means changing his heart.This fic contains moderate spoilers for the final act of the game.





	1. Cracks in the Mask

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally planned as a one-shot but after a month of writing and crossing the 30K mark (WHY?!), I needed to divide it into chapters. Since the story is done my plan is to post a chapter each day or two. We'll see how that goes.
> 
> (This is also why chapter breaks might look awkward)

_His mind felt numb, his eyes heavy, and it was a struggle to remember if anything happened in the last few minutes. Where was he? What happened to him? Why did he feel so exhausted?_  
  
_Being splashed by ice cold water shocked him back to his senses, long enough for him to look at a camera near the ceiling, then at an older man standing across from him. “No dozing off.”_  
  
_No dozing off. Had he been sleeping? Akira moved a little and his eyes widened as realized his arms were bound. He pulled against his restraints feeling metal dig into his skin. Then he felt someone kick him in the chest, knocking him out of the chair and onto the floor. His drugged up state left him confused and scared. Why did that man just kick him? Where was he? Tears streamed down his face. He had never felt so scared in his life. Why was in this room? Where were his friends?_  
  
_He looked back at the camera. “What about the camera?” He asked and Akira felt the man’s hand grab his hair and pull him partway off the floor. “Are you thinking it can be used as video evidence?”_  
  
_He tried to speak, but only a small noise came from his mouth. His throat felt dry and_ scratched, _like he had spent the last few hours screaming. The silence appeared to anger the man. “Oh, a silent one huh. Answer!”_  
  
_Akira’s eyes widened as he felt himself be kicked in the stomach. He coughed, saliva spitting out of his mouth and onto the floor as he curled up in pain. He felt his panic run through him and he forced himself to look up as the man continued to speak. He was reading from a clipboard._  
  
_“Obstruction of justice, blackmail, defamation, possession of weapons. Manslaughter too huh? Talk about the works.” He said. Akira blinked slowly, trying to comprehend his words. Manslaughter? “To think all those crimes were lead by a punk like you. And you seemed to be enjoying every second of it, didn’t you.”_  
  
_Akira stared up at the man, tears streaming down his face. The officer's words made little sense. He...enjoyed it? What did he do? He tried to remember, but his head felt hazy and filled with fog. His thoughts were disconnected. He remembered a room, not the same as the one he was in now, and people with him. They were talking about something, but he could not remember what. He could not remember their faces._  
  
_He was alone. Why was he alone? Where were his friends?_  
  
_He felt terrified. Anxiety made his stomach twist as another person approached him. He closed his eyes, braced to be hit again. Instead, the handcuffs were removed, and he was forced to sit up. His head hung as he looked down at his wrists, swollen and bruised, with bits of blood dripping where the cuffs dug into his skin. He then looked up_ as _a clipboard with a piece of paper was handed to him._  
  
_“Sign here.” He was told. “It’s a confession under your name.”_  
  
_A confession. He shook his head and with what little strength he had pushed the clipboard away from him. That was all he could manage and he let his head sag. His eyes were becoming heavy, but they opened wide and he screamed as the man slammed his foot onto his knee. He cried, hand to his thigh as he felt something crack._  
  
_And the only thing he could think_ was he had _no idea where he was, and he was never going to make it out alive._

* * *

  
Akira’s eyes snapped open as he gasped for air. The feeling of something heavy startled him and he sat up. His body shook, the air felt cold, but as he woke up and breathing steadied, he started to remember where he was. The attic in Leblanc. He had been sleeping in his bed, and now he was awake and soaked in sweat.  
  
Another nightmare. Akira put a hand to his head. He thought with the drugs out of his system and a decent nights sleep, his struggles in the interrogation room would be over. Instead, he was awake at - he checked his clock - two in the morning covered in sweat. He looked around the room and a feeling of anxiousness crawled through his skin, telling him he should stay in bed in case someone or something tried to jump him. His eyes widened at his own thoughts and he shook his head. He was being ridiculous, besides there was no way he would be able to get back to sleep if he was sticky from sweat.  
  
Akira took a deep breath and fumbled in the darkness for his light. Once he found it and turned the lights on, he searched for his glasses, which were a little easier to find. He slipped them on - the world went from blurry to clear in an instance- and looked around the room. It almost amazed him how dusty it was even after seven months, but he was long used to it. Along with the familiar sound of soft snoring near his leg. He looked down to see Morgana, his sort of cat, sleeping.  
  
Akira let a weak smile cross his face as he saw his teammate by his bedside, then climbed out of bed. He was halfway across the room when he heard a noise. “Akira?”  
  
Akira jumped and turned behind him to see his Morgana looking at him. “Sorry, did I wake you?”  
  
Of course he did, it was rare for him to get up in the middle of the night. Morgana looked at the time and then turned back to Akira, tilting his head. “You’re up late. It’s not like you to still be moving around at this hour.”  
  
“Just need to use the bathroom,” Akira told him. In a way, he was telling the truth. “Go back to sleep.”  
  
He turned away but stopped when Morgana spoke again. “Akira, are you okay?”  
  
Akira was silent for several seconds before nodding his head. “I’m fine. Just need to use the bathroom,” He repeated. “Go back to sleep, I’ll be back up in a bit.”  
  
He did not wait to see if Morgana would say anything else. He hurried downstairs and stepped inside the restroom. Once the door was locked, he pulled off his pajamas. The sweat covered clothes landed like a lump on the floor and he took off his glasses, the blurriness he found welcoming for a change. He placed his glasses on the edge of the sink and turned on the faucet. He soaked a small washcloth in water, wrung it out, and put it on his face. The cool water sent a mild shock through him, but it felt good, far better than having ice water dumped on him.  
  
He cleaned his face, then his arms and chest. He felt a little better, if a little cold. He shivered a little then leaned forward to try and look at his face in the mirror. It was blurry and a little distorted, he found he preferred it because it made it harder to see the circles beginning to form under his eyes.  
  
It had been two days since he had been drugged and beaten and he still did not feel quite like himself. He tried to tell himself what he had been told by Sae Niijima, anyone who had been in his situation for several hours would be a little shaken. What he was feeling was normal. So he tried to keep himself steady by thinking of the good that came from their successful plan.  
  
They had exposed the traitor. They had won their game against him and were on their way to finding the keyword for their next target. It was over.  
  
So why did he feel like something was wrong? Akira’s shoulders became tense and as he looked at his blurry reflection, he felt his heart leap into his throat and he looked behind him. No one was there. Of course no one was there. He and Morgana were the only people in the cafe after Sojiro closed the shop. He forced himself to smile and chuckled.  
  
“Ridiculous.” He muttered to himself. He put his glasses back on then grabbed his sweat stained pajamas from the bathroom floor. He went back upstairs and tossed them into his hamper, then changed into some clean ones. Morgana was quiet and Akira hoped his companion had gone back to sleep. He climbed back into bed, careful not to wake his sleeping friend and rolled onto his side.  
  
He checked the time on his phone. 2:18AM. He put his phone down and closed his eyes.  
  
He opened his eyes again and looked at his phone:  
  
2:35 AM  
  
2:58 AM  
  
3:12 AM  
  
3:36 AM  
  
3:47 AM  
  
Sometime after four in the morning, Akira let out a small grumble and flipped his phone over to stave off the temptation to look at it. He covered his head and closed his eyes, and tried to will himself to sleep.

* * *

  
It was the sound of his phone, combined with Morgana slapping him with his paws that stirred Akira from his disturbed sleep. “Hey, Akira to Leblanc! Akira to Morgana!”  
  
Akira let out a small groan as he tried to find his blanket. Instead he grabbed Morgana’s face, the cat letting out a loud whine that got his attention and forced him to sit up. His window was open, the sun was high in the sky, and the buzzing and beeping at his side broke through his foggy brain like a loud car horn. He picked up his phone. Ryuji was calling. Why, he had no idea, until he saw the time in the corner read it was half past noon. He clicked the green icon put his phone to his ear.  
  
“Hello?” His voice sounded raspy. He felt like he got no sleep.  
  
_“Bout time! Hey, guys, he picked up!_ ” Akira winced as he heard Ryuji shout. _“Dude, do you have any idea how long we’ve been trying to reach you? You didn’t respond to our messages in the group chat!”_  
  
“What are you...?” He paused and pulled his phone away to find he had two IM’s. One from their Phantom Thieve’s group chat, the other from Makoto. He blinked then yawned as he put his phone back to his ear.  
  
_“Hurry up Ryuji, put the call on speaker!”_ Akira recognized Ann’s voice right away. _“And don’t forget to add Futaba and Yusuke.”_  
  
_“I know I know, let’s see. Adding… and alright we’re good to go!”_  
  
_“Hello!”_ That voice was Futaba’s, Akira recognized the unique hook her tone had.  
  
_“This is quite impressive! I didn’t expect our chat to be vocal.”_ The other was Yusuke being called in from his high school.  
  
_“Ah, Yusuke. You aren’t in class, are you?”_ Makoto asked. Hearing her voice made Akira wake up a little more.  
  
_“I’m in the art room for my study period. No one else is here except me so do not worry.”_  
  
_“Oh, that’s a relief.”_  
  
_“Good, that means we can finally start our meeting,”_ Ryuji said, _“since a certain leader wasn’t answering his phone.”_  
  
Akira yawned again and stretched his neck. He looked at Morgana, who climbed onto his lap. “That’s because our leader’s a giant sleepyhead.”  
  
A brief pause, then Makoto spoke. _“Wait, you’ve been sleeping this whole time?”_  
  
“...I just woke up.”  
  
Another pause, then the silence was broken by Ryuji laughing. _“Seriously? Taking advantage of your sudden school break huh.”_  
  
“Being dead doesn’t give me a lot of things to do.”  
  
_“Well, a strong mind and a strong body need plenty of rest. It’d be bad for Akira to be sleep deprived on a mission.”_ Haru chimed in.  
  
“Damn right,” Akira said in agreement, though if he were to be honest with himself, he already felt sleep deprived. He shook the thought away and moved his phone away from his ear again. He turned up the volume so he could hear what the others were saying while he got his glasses on. He scrolled to his IMs and looked at his messages. The one in the Phantom Thieves chat reiterated everything they had learned the other day about Masayoshi Shido. The private message he got from Makoto was a simple text she usually sent him every morning.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Just wanted to wish you a good morning. Hope you’re well._  
  
The text made him smile. He typed a quick reply:  
  
**Akira:**  
_Afternoon. I’m fine. Miss you._  
  
And hit send. He heard her phone buzz, followed by some laughter and Ryuji’s annoyed grumbles. _“Hey, no sending secret, gooey, messages to each other during meeting time.”_  
  
“Ouch, caught red-handed.” Was Akira’s sarcastic response. He smirked and typed another message.  
  
**Akira:**  
_My place after school? ;)_  
  
He heard Makoto’s phone buzz again and Ryuji let out a louder, more annoyed groan. Makoto sighed and Ann laughed. _“You’re doing this on purpose,”_ Makoto said.  
  
“Yup.” Was Akira’s short and simple answer. He was positive his girlfriend was blushing.  
  
_“Anyway, we should probably hurry up before the bell rings,”_ Ann said.  
  
_“Right-O! So, I wrote up an algorithm last night to search out similar words or phrases to ones we come up with. Should make finding a match easier.”_ Futaba explained, _“So, anyone come up with new keywords?”_ The call became silent again. _“Anyone? Come on, don’t tell me I stayed up all night for nothing!”_  
  
_“I-it’s not that! Just…”_ Haru started to speak then paused as though hesitant to finish her sentence.  
  
_“Trying to think of new stuff is hard,”_ Ryuji said. Akira gave Morgana a disapproving look when the cat rolled his eyes. _“Seriously I even tried looking the guy up on Wikipedia, but his article is all politics and white noise. There’s nothing about his personal life on their.”_  
  
_“I checked some additional sources and unfortunately I couldn’t find anything either,”_ Makoto said.  
  
_“So I pulled that all-nighter for you guys to say ‘we didn’t find jack’. What the hell do I pay you?”_  
  
_“You don’t pay us anything Futaba.”_ Yusuke said then paused, _“At least, you don’t pay me anything. Do you compensate the others for your time?”_  
  
_“Can it Inari!”_  
  
_“Maybe a brief refresher might help. His name is Masayoshi Shido and the location of his distortion is the Diet Building.”_ Ann told them.  
  
_“But we need to know the keyword for what form the distortion took,”_ Haru said.  
  
_“Easier said than done, this guy's a tricky fish,”_ Futaba muttered. Morgana’s ears perked up.  
  
“What’s this about fish? Someone eating sushi?”  
  
“No one’s eating sushi,” Akira told him, pushing Morgana’s head away from his. The cat made a noise that Akira guessed was a growl before turning his full attention back to his phone.  
  
_“What about mansion?”_  
  
_“We already tried that one Ryuji.”_  
  
_“Okay well...what’s another name for a mansion?”_  
  
“A very large house,” Akira answered. He heard some chuckles on the other end and the sound of a huff.  
  
_“I’m not sure why that’s so funny. He is right. Along with estate and chateau.”_ Yusuke said, _“Akira, have you had any luck?”_  
  
“No, was looking on my phone until bed, got nothing.” He said. He had all the time in the world now and was getting about as much done as his friends at school were, maybe even less. He had gone through every word or short phrase they had thought of the other night and ran them through his thesaurus and found no match.  
  
_“You know, I really wish this stupid app had a ‘close but not quite’ notice because that would be incredibly helpful.”_ He heard Ryuji say and while he didn’t vocalize his agreement, Akira nodded.  
  
_“I think we all are wishing that at this point.”_ Makoto said, _“I hate to bring this up but our classes are about to resume, we should save this for after school.”_  
  
_“Actually maybe it’d be better to take a break.”_ Ann spoke up, _“At this point, we’re working in circles.”_  
  
_“I agree. Sometimes the best way to get around an artist block is to sit back and simply watch the scenery.”_ Yusuke said, _“A day off today may be the key to finding our keyword at a later date.”_  
  
_“I have to go straight home after school today anyway, so I wouldn’t be able to help,”_ Haru added, sounding dejected at the thought.  
  
_“Alright, I guess we should take some time to ourselves then. Maybe meet at Leblanc the day after tomorrow?”_ Ann said. Akira nodded, then remembered he was still in his room back at Lablanc, not on the school roof with his friends.  
  
“Sounds good,” He said.  
  
_“Alright, for the rest of the day we are off duty. Dismissed.”_ Makoto said.  
  
Akira listened to his friends vocalize their agreements. He seemed to be the only one who disagreed, not seeing them meant another day alone in the cafe. Well, not really, he did have Morgana, and Futaba would come by to visit at dinner. So it was not that bad.  
  
He hated how he would feel if he was locked up for another week though.  
  
_“Alright, I guess that settles it._ ” Ryuji’s voice got his attention again. _“We’ll see you later Akira. If you think of or find anything out, let us know.”_  
  
“Got it.” Was Akira’s short reply before the call ended. He let his hand drop and Morgana climbed off his lap as he looked out the window.  
  
“You miss being outside, don’t you,” Morgana said. “You know, you can still leave here.”  
  
“Yeah, but gotta be discreet about it remember?” Akira said, “Cover my head with that damn hoodie and be careful of the cops, who are everywhere now that it’s election season. Might as well not go out at all.”  
  
“Well, when you put it like that...” Morgana started then trailed off as Akira continued to look out the window. However, after a few long seconds, Akira's phone began buzzing, getting the young teenagers attention. He picked it up to see Makoto had sent him another message.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Hey._  
_I know this is probably the last thing on your mind,_  
_but did you want me to bring over your school books?_  
_You did ask me to come by after all._  
  
Akira blinked as he read the message then let a small smirk cross his face. He replied back.  
  
**Akira:**  
_You don’t have to make excuses to come visit me._  
  
**Makoto:**  
_I’m not making up excuses!_

Her response amused him.

 **Akira:**  
_Yes, you are._  
  
There was a brief pause, which made Akira wonder if Makoto was texting him during class if she was so flustered she was having trouble thinking of a response. It took almost five minutes to hear back from her.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_No, I’m not._  
_You still need to keep up with your studies,_  
_even more so now that you're not attending class._  
_It would be bad for you to come back to school_  
_and fail your next midterm._  
  
Akira found himself smiling at the text message. His price for dating the smartest girl at their school was the constant reminders of his studies and he appreciated everyone single one.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_And yes, I do want to see you. It’s weird_  
_not seeing you at school with Ryuji and Ann_  
_or in the library reading._  
_To be honest, I’m worried about you._  
  
His smile faltered, and a frown formed on his face.  
  
**Akira:**  
 _You’re worried about me?_  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Yes. I know our plan worked, but hearing_  
_about what they did to you... how are you_  
_feeling?_  
  
Akira’s shoulders sagged. He looked down at his scarred wrists and pulled his sleeve up before replying.  
  
**Akira:**  
_It sounds worse than it actually was._  
  
He then typed the first things he could think of to change the subject.  
  
**Akira:  
** _No texting in class Ms. Honor Student._  
_Make sure you get any notes from Mishima._  
_Ann peppers hers with_ english _. A LOT of_ english _._  
_Makes it really hard to read._  
  
There was another pause. He saw three dots appear under Makoto’s name, telling him she was typing something, but then it popped off the screen. Akira waited a little longer but gave up after almost ten minutes. Classes had to have resumed by now.  
  
He needed to start his day, even if half the day had already flown by. He needed to do his laundry, go to the bathhouse to wash, he was sure Sojiro would want him to get some groceries for the shop and help with the dishes. He needed to eventually get over to Central Street and return the DVD he had been holding onto for almost two months.  
  
However, as he thought of his schedule, he realized all he wanted to do was go back to sleep. Just thinking about the day left him feeling tired.  
  
“Hey, if Makoto’s gonna be over, you should get yourself cleaned up.” Morgana’s voice got his attention and hearing his feline companion say it made him decide he had to get out of bed and at least make himself look half decent. Maybe once he had something to eat, he’d feel more energized. So he got up, got dressed, and pulled the hood over his head as he grabbed his laundry bag and carried it downstairs.

* * *

  
Makoto kept her bag close to her as she rode the train from Shibuya to Yongen-Jaya. It was packed, as always, and today was no exception. That was not what bothered her, it was the constant news talking about the election, with Masayoshi Shido confirmed as leading by a landslide. Of all the people running for Prime Minister, the one everyone believed would be the best for the country was the candidate that would destroy it from the inside.  
  
The train stopped at the station and once outside Makoto walked down the street to Cafe Leblanc. It was not hard to find, she had been to the cafe several times, even more often after she and Akira started dating a few months ago. She pushed the door open to see Sojiro working on a crossword puzzle. He only looked up when he heard the door open.  
  
Her presence, as always, made him smile. “Ah, afternoon Makoto.”  
  
“Hello Boss.” Makoto said looking around the cafe, “How’s business?”  
  
“Slow. Evening should pick up now that the everyone’s getting out of work.” He said, giving a shrug. Makoto found herself wondering some days Sojiro didn’t really need to run the cafe and just did it as something to stave off post-retirement boredom. “Akira said you’d be coming by, he’s cleaning his room. Looked a bit pale when he came downstairs earlier.”  
  
She frowned, “Is he okay? I know it’s been a bit of a rough week.”  
  
“That’s one way to put it,” Sojiro said, a sigh on his lips. “It’s not my place to pry into his private business, but being a dad, you start to notice little things. He could be getting sick, it is the flu season and being trapped inside isn’t going to help him avoid it.”  
  
“Well if he does get sick I’m sure he’s in good hands.” Makoto said, “I should go up and see him. Please excuse me.”  
  
Sojiro nodded and went back to his puzzle. Makoto climbed up the stairs. There was no door to knock on, the attic didn’t have one, so Makoto tapped her fist against the wood wall just as she was reaching the top of the steps. “Akira?”  
  
“I’m here.” She heard his voice and she finished climbing up to find him putting his spare clothes away. He pushed the small box back into the shelf and straightened, a smile forming on his face as he saw her.  
  
Sojiro was right, Akira did look pale. She also saw thin lines under his eyes that hinted at sleep deprivation. Still seeing him smile, she put her concerns aside for the moment. For all she knew he looked worn out because he stayed up all night playing video games. Would not be the first time.  
  
She took a few steps closer and put a hand on his back when he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her into a hug. He then gave her a small kiss and pulled back. “How was class?”  
  
“Same as always, minus the teachers getting political,” Makoto said then reached into her back and pulled out a folder. “Here, it’s a copy of Mishima’s notes. He was surprisingly hard to track down after class. I think I might have scared him a little.”  
  
Akira chuckled and took the folder. He went over to his desk and sat down, his chair creaking. He opened the folder and frowned. He had forgotten how messy Mishima’s handwriting was. Maybe he should have asked Makoto to get Ann’s note instead.  
  
Makoto glanced around the room. It looked the same as always, a little dusty - she remembered Akira describing keeping his room clean was a ‘constant battle against evil dust bunnies’. His shelf was stocked with small knickknacks and several books, the Risette poster was the same one he always had hung up.  
  
“Where’s Morgana?”  
  
“I told him to hang out with Futaba for a few hours. Didn’t want him bothering us.” Akira said reaching into his desk and pulling out his school notebook. Makoto climbed onto his bed and pulled her schoolbag off her shoulders.  
  
“You don’t mind if I do my schoolwork on your bed do you?”  
  
Akira turned to her, “Course not.” He said then smirked, “My bed is yours, my dear.”  
  
Makoto felt her face turn a slight shade of pink, and she pulled out her homework. She decided to finish her math homework first, get the harder assignments out of the way then do the easier ones.  
  
An hour and a half passed and Makoto put away her last textbook. “There we go.” She muttered to herself then looked up at her boyfriend. He was still looking over his notes.  
  
At least it looked that way at first, but as Makoto watched him, she noticed he was staring at his wrist, his fingers going over the bruises and scratches. “Akira?” She asked. She got up and walked over. “Is everything alright?”  
  
She put her hand on his shoulder. Akira jumped at the touch, and he was not in his room studying with his girlfriend. He was being kicked to the floor by the police commissioner, handcuffs digging into his skin as he hit the floor, shaking as the drugs coursing through him left his mind a confused haze.  
  
“Akira!”  
  
Then he was back. Back in his room, Makoto staring at him trying to hide the worry on her face. “Hey- hey, it’s just me.”  
  
“M-Makoto…” He stammered. Makoto looked at his face, seeing his eyes wide, dazed and confused as he looked around. His left hand was starting to shake from trying to keep his balance and as his awareness of his surroundings came back to him, he realized he had somehow climbed halfway onto his desk.  
  
Makoto touched him again, a gentle hand on Akira’s arm that he flinched to, but did not pull away from. The color had drained from his face, and his chest rose and fell like he was gasping for air. “It’s okay.” She said, “Come on, let’s get you off your desk.”  
  
Somehow he nodded and he let her help him get down. His legs shook as he stood and he let her guide him to his bed. He sat down, and Makoto took his hand to keep him steady. “Easy, try and focus on your breathing.”  
  
He nodded and closed his eyes and tried to steady his breathing and heart rate. He listened as she helped him. Slow breath in...then out. In...then out. Having her guide him helped and when he opened his eyes he felt a bit calmer. His hands were not shaking as bad, Makoto was still holding them, and he let himself lean over a little.  
  
“I’m gonna put my hand on your back, that okay?” Makoto asked. He nodded, it was strange to hear her asking to put a hand on him, but considering what just happened she was probably just making sure he knew what was going on.  
  
They were silent for a little while, Akira leaned closer to her, letting his head rest against her, letting his eyes close and the feeling of Makoto rubbing his back comfort him. His hands stopped shaking, falling lax in his lap. He didn’t open his eyes until he felt her give him a light shake, and when he did found himself staring down at her white blouse.  
  
His face turned red and he hurried to straighten himself. “Sorry.” He muttered.  
  
“Um, it’s fine?” Makoto asked. “Are you feeling better?”  
  
He hesitated, then answered, “I don’t know.”  
  
“You wanna tell me what happened?”  
  
“I’m not sure.” He said. His chest felt tight and his voice choked. Even though he was no longer shaking, he felt anxious and nervous. Makoto continued to watch him, the feelings were clear on his face.  
  
“Akira, I think you just had a panic attack.” She said. Akira was silent instead looking down so his hair and glasses hid his eyes. “Look, I know you told us you’re fine, but it’s obvious what happened has affected you. You sure you don’t want to talk about it? Nothing you say will leave this room, I promise.”  
  
Akira thought it over. He wanted to say something and he was about to, but then stopped as a small voice spoke in the back of his head.  
  
_You don’t want to look weak in front of her._  
  
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Akira finally said looking at her, “I’ll tell you if I do. I just don’t want to right now.”  
  
He did not want to talk about what happened in the interrogation room. He did not want to relive the trauma and he did not want to make his friends and Makoto worry by giving them the details. The plan worked, they needed to put it behind them. He needed to forget about it.  
  
He glanced up at his old CRTV and stood up. His legs still felt a little wobbly, but he walked over and turned the television on. He then popped his overdue DVD into the slot and selected play. He was not sure what he put on, he didn’t care, he just needed a distraction.  
  
He felt tired. No worse, he felt exhausted. He took a seat back down on the bed, letting his shoulders sag. Makoto watched him, waited for him to move or say something, but he stayed quiet.  
  
Akira was always quiet, but his current silence was not the usual comfortable one.  
  
“Okay.” She finally said, “But I’m going to stay here with you for a bit. If you don’t mind.”  
  
More silence, but this time Akira moved. He took her hand and squeezed it tight, tight enough to make her wince. “Please stay.” He said.  
  
“I will,” Makoto said.  
  
They stayed with each other long after the DVD finished playing. Akira had started to doze off so they laid down together, and Makoto played with his hair before falling asleep with him.


	2. Paranoid and Broken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am completely blown away by the amount of support my first chapter alone received. Like wow, I did not expect that. Thank you so much to everyone, you are incredible!
> 
> I am hopeful the rest of this story is just as well liked.

There were a lot of police officers on the street. Akira was having trouble remembering if this was always the case or if he had just not noticed until now. Despite his probation, he never had to worry much about the police, however now that he had reason to, they stood out in the crowd.

Ryuji asked him if he wanted to go to the movie theater, and after being stuck in the attic with little to do, Akira had practically screamed in joy when he got the text. Despite his own concerns, he felt like he needed to get out of Leblanc for a few hours. Then they reached Central Street and the sight of all the police officers on the road made Akira’s heart rate speed up, and his chest become tight. Maybe going out was a bad idea.

“Did we have to go to this theater? Couldn’t we have just gone to the one in Yongen-Jaya?” He asked and Ryuji looked at him, confused.

“This is the only theater showing this movie.” He said, “Didn’t I tell you that over the phone? Pretty sure I did.” He pulled out his phone to double check, “Yeah it’s right here, ‘hey you wanna see-”

“Ryuji…” He said keeping his voice low, his eyes darting about as he saw a police officer walk past the two of them. He froze on the spot, his mind racing. What if the officer recognized him? What if he was looking for him?

“Yo, hey.” Ryuji’s voice snapped Akira out of his stupor and he put his hands in his pockets, trying to keep his composure. “You hear what I said?”

“Huh?”

“We have some time before the movie, wanna get something to eat?” Ryuji asked. It took a second for Akira to find his voice and an answer.

“Sure. Sounds good.” He said trying to make himself sound more composed than he actually was. He followed Ryuji to the restaurant.

Because it was not raining, the restaurant was packed, but it did not take long for them to be seated. Akira glanced around the room and after some hesitation pulled his hood down. Ryuji raised an eyebrow at his appearance and chuckled.

“Wow, look at that hat head,” Ryuji said, a grin crossing his face. Akira met his grin with an annoyed grunt as he put his hand to his head and noticed his hair felt matted. He should have gotten cleaned up when he woke up, but getting out of bed had proven difficult.

“I hate this hoodie,” Akira said. He glanced around the restaurant, at the people talking and eating their meals. Everyone seemed normal, but that did not mean that there was an undercover cop hiding in the restaurant just waiting for him to - wait that made no sense, everyone thought he was dead or back in his hometown because of ‘family matters’. There was no way the cops should know he is still alive. Sae’s quick thinking and the police commissioner's own incompetence saw to that.

Maybe the guy sitting in the corner was an undercover cop. Akira felt a cold shiver run down his spine.

“Yo, dude!” Ryuji shouted getting his attention. His friend was pointing to the waitress who had arrived he had no idea when. “You ready to order or not?”

Akira blinked and looked down at his unopened menu. Ryuji sighed, “Sorry, we’re going to need a few more minutes.” The young woman nodded and stepped away. Ryuji then turned to Akira, “Alright man, what’s up?”

Akira sighed. “Nothing.”

“Dude, you’re really spaced out. And pale. Is everything alright? This isn’t like you.”

“I told you it’s nothing. I’m just tired.” He said. He was not lying about that last line, he needed to wake himself up a bit more. He got up from his seat. “Bathroom.” He muttered and hurried to the restrooms before Ryuji could say anything. Once inside he took his glasses off and ran the faucet. He cupped some water in his palms and splashed his face, hoping the sudden shock would wake him up a little more. He took a deep breath in and then let it out.

He was just on an outing with Ryuji. No one was hunting him down. Everything was fine.

Everything. Was. Fine.

He told himself that as he looked up at his reflection and almost jumped out of his skin when he saw something behind him. He turned around. No one was in the bathroom except him. He turned back to the sink and stayed there, not sure if his stomach twisting was going to stop or not. Was this another panic attack? He shook his head. He needed to get himself together, so he could leave the bathroom and look as normal as possible around his friend. Everything was fine. He as okay. He kept repeating those words in his head until he could stand up straight and put his glasses back on.

Akira opened the door to the bathroom and stepped out to see Ryuji tapping his fingers impatiently on the table. He sat down across his friend and pulled his hood back up. “I ordered us some tea, but I think we’re annoying the workers here,” Ryuji told him. Akira glanced around, then took his glass. The tea was warm and had a lemon taste to it.

After a few short seconds, Ryuji growled and decided he needed to speak up again. “Okay, what’s going on?”

“What?”

“With you. You’re acting weird.”

“I’m not acting weird.”

“You are so acting weird.” Ryuji said, “I mean I’m your best friend, I know when you aren’t acting right. Only other person who’d notice is probably Ann and definitely Mako-” He paused then cursed. “Shit.”

Akira raised a confused eyebrow and pulled his drink up to his lips as he wondered where Ryuji was going with his train of thought.

“Now I get it. You were fine on the phone the other day and she visited you after school. Now you’re acting funny.” Ryuji said, nodding his head in confirmation. “She dumped you.”

Akira almost choked on his drink. He coughed and grabbed his glass or water, taking some sips to help himself calm down. He cleared his throat. “Ryuji, you’re…” He paused, trying to find the right words, “not a very good detective.”

“So she didn’t dump you?”

“No! She gave me some school notes, we studied, then we watched tv and I made us curry for dinner. Trust me, I was there, I can vouch for my ‘not single’ status. So can Boss.” Akira said. He waited for Ryuji to absorb this information and hoped that would be the end of it.

“Well, come to think of it, her dumping you wouldn’t explain why you keep looking over your shoulder. No offense but you look like you’re expecting someone to jump you or something.”

“Well with all the police around can you blame me?” Akira asked, again glancing around the restaurant.

“Dude, everyone who works for the police thinks you're dead.”

“Then why are there so many out?”

“I don’t know!” Ryuji shouted. Akira froze on the spot as eyes turned their way. He really hoped there was not an undercover officer in the restaurant at that moment. Seeing his friends face become three shades whiter than it already was, Ryuji quieted down, “It’s probably because of the elections coming up.”

Elections! Of course. Akira almost laughed, he had completely forgotten about them in his anxiousness. “Right, those.” He muttered leaning over and putting a hand to his head. Right, the elections, they were supposed to be figuring out how to stop the front running elector and he was doing a terrible job helping them solve their problem.

He checked his phone. “Almost time for the movie.” He said and Ryuji checked his phone and jumped out of the seat.

“Oh crap, you’re right.” He said then paused and looked at his best friend, “You sure you still want to go?”

Akira’s brain kept screaming no; he should say he changed his mind or didn’t feel well and just go home and hide in his room. Then he would not need to worry about any undercover or out in the open cops.

“If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have come out in the first place.” He said, then waved to the waitress to get their bill.

They got their tickets and Akira tried to smile as Ryuji told him about something he heard while at school. The movie started, Akira tried to pay attention to the action scenes and to his friends reaction to the film. Akira tried to make himself look like the movie helped him relax and that he had a good time. He laughed as Ryuji told him everything he liked about the movie, including rambling about the action scenes and being in awe at the choreography.

Akira was a better actor than Ann was, but even Ryuji could see when his best friends smile did not reach his eyes.

 

* * *

 

**Ryuji:  
** _This elections really starting to piss me off!_

**Ann:**  
_I know. It’s even starting to hit our classroom._  
_Most of the teachers and some of the students_  
_won’t stop talking about him._

Akira read the text messages and sighed. His phone buzzing woke him up and it was obvious they were all texting in class. He checked the time, it was one in the afternoon. Half the day had flown by while he had been sleeping or lying in bed staring at his wall.

**Yusuke:  
** _Unfortunately it’s been the same at my school._

**Ryuji:**  
_Seriously?! Figured a fancy art school would  
be immune to all this political bullshit._

**Yusuke:**  
_Quite the opposite. Politics and art often_  
_go hand in hand. You’d be amazed at how much_  
_the art world has influenced or been influenced_  
_by the drama of Japan's political circles._

There’s _actually many fascinating books on_  
_the subject of political cartoonists in our school's_  
_library. Many of my classmates have been reading up_  
_on the subject ever since the election season began._

**Futaba:  
** _Ugh! Sounds so boring! >_<# _

**Haru:**  
_I do remember reading books about how_  
_comics can influence people’s opinions. It’s used_  
_a lot in marketing, even for Big Bang Burger._

**Futaba:**  
_AAAGGGGHHHH! Stop talking about art  
and politics! :<_

“You know if we weren’t trying to bust this guy I’d be more curious what Yusuke had to say,” Morgana said getting Akira to look up at his open window.

“Where’d you come from?” He asked.

“Outside. I got bored waiting for you to wake up.” Morgana said climbing off the window and onto Akira’s futon. “More importantly why are you still in bed? I know you like to sleep in sometimes, but not this late.”

Akira had no answer. He put his phone down and rolled onto his other side. He closed his eyes only to open them in annoyance when he felt Morgana climb onto him and give him a light swat on the cheek. “I thought you’d at least be downstairs helping The Chief out.”

Morgana knew him too well. Sojiro had asked him to help with dishes, but he really did not have the energy to get out of bed and lied about feeling under the weather. Or maybe it was not a lie, he had no idea. He felt drained, and the strange, empty feeling in his chest would not go away. He heard his phone buzz and then buzz again and after some time he rolled over and picked up his phone.

**Ryuji** :  
_Yo, you say something Akira?_

_Hello?_

**Makoto:  
** _Hello?_

**Futaba:**  
_?_  
_You still there Akira?_  
_O.o_

He scrolled up and looked at Morgana, who let out a sheepish laugh.

**Akira:  
** _Morgana stepped on my phone._

**Futaba:**  
_He speaks!_  
_He lives!_  
_I think._

**Makoto:  
** _You guys do realize you’re still in class right?_

**Futaba:  
** _And now the fun’s over! : < _

**Ann:**  
_Ugh, I’m sorry. Normally I’d be agreeing  
with Makoto, but I just can’t concentrate._

**Haru:  
** _Me neither._

After few long seconds and Makoto typed a response.

**Makoto:**  
_I admit I can’t either, so I shouldn’t be_  
_chastising. Just hold on a few more hours and_  
_we’ll be out._

**Ryuji:  
** _Ugh, but that’s too long!_

**Makoto:  
** _Well, try and think of something to look forward too._

_Ryuji: **  
** Like what?_

**Yusuke:**  
_A good question. We’re nearing the end of the month_  
_and with it the beginning of the election season._

**Haru:  
** _And still no idea what Shido’s keyword is._

Akira read Haru’s message. He should have figured this out by now, he should have known Shido’s keyword.

_Some leader you are._

He winced at his own thoughts.

**Ryuji:**  
_Great. Just thinking about this dead end  
makes me want to punch something._

**Akira:  
** _You need to let off some steam._

**Ryuji:**  
_I need to hit the gym or beat the shit out  
of a shadow. Or something!_

A brief pause and then Ann’s message was the next to pop up.

**Ann:  
** _Actually, that doesn’t sound like a bad idea._

**Ryuji:**  
_Hitting the gym?_

**Ann:**  
_No, beating up shadows. When’s  
the last time we went to Mementos?_

Akira raised an eyebrow at the question and looked at Morgana who thought it over. “Good question. Probably not since we finished that last request.” Akira nodded and typed in a response.

**Akira:  
** _Morgana says not in a while._

**Ryuji:**  
_Well let’s fix that! I need to workout my  
Persona. Hell, maybe we’ll find a clue or something._

_You guys have any plans?_

**Haru:  
** _I have no plans._

**Yusuke:**  
_I’ll be free after classes today._

**Futaba:**  
_I’m always available for trips to  
the underground subway from hell._

**Makoto:**  
_As am I. I doubt we’ll find any clues but_  
_Ryuji has a point about making sure_  
_our skills don’t get rusty._

**Ryuji:  
** _My brilliance knows no bounds._

**Yusuke:  
** _I’m not sure it’s brilliance…_

**Ryuji:**  
_So it’s settled? We’ll all meet at Leblanc  
after school and then next stop, Mementos._

Akira gave the answer he knew the others would want to hear.

**Akira:  
** _Sounds good._

**Ryuji:**  
_Alright, it’s a date!_

**Futaba:**  
_I don’t know about dating a shadow._

**Yusuke:**  
_Indeed I can only imagine attempting  
to court a shadow would end badly._

**Ann:**  
_I can’t tell if you’re being sarcastic or  
serious Yusuke…_

**Makoto:  
** _We’ll see you after class Akira._

**Akira** :  
_See ya._

Akira let out a breath and placed his phone back down on the mattress. He then curled up on the bed so his head was partially covered by his blanket. Morgana stared at him. “You’re going back to sleep?”

“Just a quick nap.” He muttered and let his eyes close.

“But didn’t you just wake up?” Morgana asked. Akira did not answer and the ‘cat’ proceeded to climb on him and poke him in the cheek with his paw. Akira did not move, just lying still with his eyes closed. “Akira, do you want to go to Mementos?”

“The others want to and that’s enough.” He said, voice becoming quiet.

Had Morgana not been living in Akira’s room for the past seven months he would have thought Akira had fallen asleep. However, his breathing was not relaxed, and he moved in a way that told Morgana that he was either trying to get comfortable or trying to get Morgana to stop poking him without saying it out loud.

Morgana stopped pushing his paw into Akira’s face and climbed off him. “Alright, you win, but I’m waking you up an hour before everyone gets here. Okay?” Morgana asked and then waited for some kind of response or at least an acknowledgment that Akira was listening. He got it, or at least he thought he did when he saw the teenager move his head a little. Morgana continued to watch him, lying down by his side, “Please Akira, if something is wrong, say something.”

Morgana got no response, Akira just kept his eyes closed and eventually fell asleep.

Morgana kept his word, and Akira felt his sort-of-but-not-really-feline companion crawling on him before being yelled at to get out of bed and get dressed. Akira did not say it out loud, but he wished he could sleep longer - even if he did not want to. His dreams were as vivid as ever-. His head felt heavy from fatigue, and he couldn’t tell if it was because he was still waking up or because he had not eaten anything all day. Maybe both.

He forced himself to get out of bed and start what was left of the day. Once cleaned and dressed he picked up his phone to see if there were any messages. There was a message from Yusuke about not having enough fare for the train and then a reply from Ryuji asking him where he was, why he did not have a commuter pass, and that he would spot him for the trip to Leblanc and his ride back home. He also had a personal message from Futaba telling him she was already downstairs waiting for him. He put his phone into his pocket and climbed downstairs, Morgana hurrying behind him.

Once downstairs Futaba looked up from her laptop, a grin on her face. “Hey!” She said. Akira gave her a smile.

“About time you got up,” Sojiro told him. “You feeling better?”

“Yeah, a bit.” He said. Fubata stared at him.

“You weren’t feeling well?” She asked. Akira nodded, less to her and more to himself, before noticing a plate of curry had appeared on the table in front of him. He then felt a hand on his forehead and looked up to see Sojiro hovering over him.

“You don’t have a fever,” Sojiro said. Akira was silent, not wanting or having the energy to even think of an excuse. He picked up his fork and tried to eat his late lunch. “You know, if you didn’t want to help today you could have just said so. It’s not like you’re on my payroll.”

The statement was not malicious, Sojiro sounded concerned, but Akira still felt like he had been stabbed in the chest with a knife. He stared at his meal and realized he no longer had much of an appetite. He put his fork down and simply stared at his meal.

“Uh, Akira? Leblanc to Akira? Hello!” Futaba said, waving her hand in front of his gray face and getting his attention. “You sure you’re up to doing the thing at the place?”

“...Yes, I’m sure. Wouldn’t have said we should go if I wasn’t up to it.”

“You’re positive? Because if you’re not-”

“Futaba. I’m sure. Positive.” Akira cut her off, resting his elbows on the table and burying his head in his hands. He was starting to get annoyed with everyone asking him if he was alright. First Makoto, then Ryuji, then Morgana, now Futaba and Sojiro. Who would be asking him the stupid question about his health when he was perfectly fine next? Probably Haru.

He was not fine. He felt miserable. He was not going to say that.

“Well eat up. If you’re doing your Phantom Thief business you should make sure you have the energy for it.” Sojiro said. Akira nodded and looked back at the curry on his plate. He ate slowly; the taste felt bland on his tongue, the opposite of how Sojiro’s food normally tasted. He ate most of what was on the plate and after thanking Sojiro for the late lunch decided to return the favor by doing some of the leftover dishes from the morning. It gave him something to do so he did not end up staring aimlessly at the table and he tried not to pay attention to the looks Sojiro and Futaba were giving him.

He was relieved when Morgana jumped onto the table and started talking because it meant their attention was diverted and he could hear Sojiro yelling at ‘the cat’ to get off.

The others arrived in the early evening, and Sojiro closed the shop and left early so the group could have some privacy. “So, we already to head to Mementos?” Morgana asked looking at Akira. The young man glanced at each of them before nodding and forcing himself to speak.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

 

Haru had called the newest area in Momentos creepy. The train tracks remained skeletal like the previous areas and while the walls appeared to lack the blood-soaked bones, Akira had a feeling that was because the path was so dark they just could not see them. The pillars had eyes scratched onto them, and while Morgana said he was sure they were just for decoration, it did not stop them from feeling like they were being watched. The ‘I think’ he added at the end did not help ease their worries.

“Ugh, I can’t see a thing,” Futaba muttered. Even with her Persona, she struggled to map the floor and Akira drove Morgana slower than usual not wanting to risk being ambushed by shadows.

“It’s so dark,” Ann said looking out the window.

“I can barely see my sketchbook,” Yusuke muttered in disappointment.

“Hey Mona, give us some high beams or something,” Ryuji shouted.

“I’m trying, but it’s like this floor swallows light,” Morgana said, annoyed.

“It’s okay Mona. We’ll just go slow.” Makoto said and Akira nodded, keeping his eyes on the road and wincing as the cat bus climbed over a bumpy rail. He heard one of them sigh and the sound of paper being ripped and crumbled. Then Morgana reminding Yusuke not to litter in the bus.

Driving slow made getting around the floor tedious, but his friends conversing helped ease the tension. Then after taking another turn down the long windy tunnels, Futaba screamed. “Stop!”

Akira slammed on the break and the others cried out as they slammed into the front seat, or in Makoto’s case, the dashboard. She was in the passenger seat next to him.

“Ow, my head,” Ryuji muttered as Akira turned to look at Futaba.

“What’s wrong Oracle?” Makoto asked, also turning around. Futaba was frowning at her laptop, her fingers on the keyboard, but not moving. She then looked up at them.

“I think we already went this way.” She said getting a collective groan what from everyone except Akira.

“Are you serious?” Ryuji asked.

“How can you even tell? This place is pitch black.” Ann said looking out the window.

“Trust me, my Persona doesn't lie, especially when working with a computer program handmade by yours truly,” Futaba told them. Akira turned back around and let out a breath as he rested his arms and then his head against the wheel. That would explain why it felt like he was constantly turning left. Maybe at the next fork in the long twisted road he should turn right. Or did he do that already? He glanced up when he felt Makoto put a hand on his shoulder. Even though her mask hid half her face, he could see she was concerned for him.

He forced himself to give her a smile and tilted his head when Futaba spoke again. “Okay, I think if we take the next left, but go straight instead of going right, we should be able to reach the stairs to the next floor.”

“So you think, but aren’t certain,” Ryuji said. Yusuke sighed as he looked up from his sketch.

“At least now we know we’ve been going the wrong way the entire time.”

“Shuddup Inari!” Futaba shouted then looked up at Akira in front of her, “Hey, Joker, we going or not?”

Akira took a deep breath and straightened. He stretched out his neck, which was beginning to feel stiff. “You need a break?” Makoto asked. He shook his head.

“Nah, I got it.” He said as he placed his foot back on the accelerator. He followed Futaba’s instructions, going straight when she said so, right at her command. He took a left and narrowed his eyes and slowed to a stop as he saw something in the distance. The familiar sight of black inhuman blobs with white masks where their heads should have been, and just behind the shadows a familiar metal door with chains around it.

“Company.” He said.

“I see’em,” Ryuji said, leaning over the front seat. “So, how we gonna do this?”

Even without looking at his friend Akira could tell Ryuji had a large grin on his face. He let a smirk cross his and slammed on the gas. Morgana screamed as they rammed right into the shadows. The bus transformed back into a cat and bounced on the train tracks before landing on his head and flopping onto his back. The other’s landed on their feet with no problem and Haru rushed over to Morgana.

“Are you alright Mona?” She asked. Morgana jumped back to his feet and glared at Akira.

“Joker, a little warning next time!”” Morgana yelled at their leader, who turned his attention to the clump of shadows, which broke apart and formed into four enemies. They were all fairly large, but once Futaba summoned her Persona and took to the air above them, a quick scan had her chuckling into their ears.

“Ah, these guys will be no problem. Blocks curse and resists fire, but weak to light. Low level...we can pretty much go to town on them.” Futaba told them. Akira nodded at the information. He was positive he had a light based Persona on him.

“Noir, Skull, Mona, with me. Queen, you’re in charge of covering the rear.” He ordered.

“You got it Joker. Panther, Fox, let’s go.” Makoto shouted as Akira lead Haru, Ryuji, and Morgana to the front line. They needed to take the offensive before the shadows recovered from their ambush.

Akira heard Haru call upon her persona and saw several multicolored lights float into the air which launched at the shadows, followed by Ryuji rushing in and slamming the heavy hammer he used into one of the shadows heads. The wind picked up as Morgana called upon Zorro’s power and Akira watched as his friends singlehandedly took down the group of four.

“Rush’em. Now!” Akira yelled leading the charge as the four executed their all out attack. With a well-aimed strike of his knife, two of the shadows went down. Futaba was right, the shadows were weak, and with only two more remaining and their navigator cheering them on, they would have them taken care of no problem. He put his hand on his mask, ready to call upon one of his many persona.

He froze. His eyes widened, his chest felt tight, his heart beat violently in his ears. He heard voices, heard Ryuji say something, but it was like his words were going through a funnel. He tried to make his fingers grasp his mask, but his hand just did not want to move.

“The hell’s going on?!”

“Guys, company!” Makoto’s voice broke through to him and Akira glanced up in time to see more shadows approaching. With each floor they descended the monsters became bolder and bolder as if desiring to challenge them. He heard Futaba read the weaknesses and resistances and ordered Ryuji to fall back and Yusuke to take the front lines. They needed ice. Ice. Akira took a breath and placed his hand on his mask running through his mental compendium for his most powerful ice persona.

And then it happened again. He felt frozen, his mind shut off, his eyes snapping open as he the sound of something screaming reached his ears.

_“Obstruction of justice, blackmail, defamation, possession of weapons…”_

His vision was hazy, the world around him bubbling away from him.

_“And you seemed to be enjoying every second of it.”_

He...enjoyed it? He...couldn’t remember...

_“Well, I need your hand to sign this, but I don’t care about you losing a leg!”_

_“We are going to make you understand. One must take full responsibility for their actions…”_

He had to take responsibility...for his actions...

_“You cause any problems, you’ll be expelled immediately.”_

_“Don’t do anything stupid. I’ll throw you out if you cause any trouble.”_

He... caused trouble...but...

_“Damn brat, I’ll sue!”_

_His eyes widened and he was no longer in the dark tunnels of Mementos. He was standing on the street corner in his hometown, a woman looking over his shoulder, a drunk man who had fallen onto the sidewalk holding his head as blood dripped down his face. “Damn brat, I’ll sue!”_

_Then the police came and the woman spoke. “That young man suddenly attacked him...he shoved this gentleman to the ground. And this man...got injured...”_

_“Cuff him.”_

_“You’re under arrest for assault.”_

_He felt arms on him and next thing he knew he was shoved into the sofa in his parents family room. His head hit something solid, and he heard a woman shout something that was ignored. His mind felt hazy, like he was drugged, as he looked at the man in front of him._

_“-was none of your business! You should have ignored them and come straight home! How are we supposed to pay for this lawsuit when we’re already paying for the divorce?”_

_He didn’t do anything wrong, he did the right thing._

_“We’re being sued because of you!”_

“Akira!”

The sound of one of his teammates shouting his name snapped him back to reality, just in time to see one of the shadows lunging for him, twin swords in hand. His eyes widened and he tried to dodge the shadow’s blade. He was not fast enough, his movement was sluggish, and the blade hit him right in the chest. He felt horrible pain run through him, then his head slammed into the ground. His vision went dark.

His teammates saw him go flying right into the ground, Makoto’s eyes widening in horror. “You bastard!” She shouted, breaking formation and rushing for the shadow.

“Makoto!” Ann shouted.

“Tear him apart, Anat!” She ripped off her mask, her Persona forming from the flames that followed her and it aimed a powerful Freidyne toward the shadow. The blast tore through it, leaving nothing but black and light blue smoke that fluttered in the wind. She turned to see Yusuke and Haru finish off the last shadow then hurried over to their fallen leader.

“Joker!” She shouted, getting down on the ground next to him. He wasn’t moving, his eyes were closed. “Joker?” Makoto carefully rolled him onto his back and her eyes widened in horror as she saw a large red slash across Akira’s sweater, splashed with blood. Blood dripping down the side of his head. “Oh god. Mona!”

“R-right.” Morgana hurried to Akira’s side, willing his Persona to take form and using the strongest healing spell he had. “Please work. Diarahan!”

A soft green light surrounded their leader, then concentrated on his injuries. Most of the magic floated around his chest, some to his head, before both faded into the darkness. Akira winced but then relaxed, his breathing becoming steadier, even if he remained unconscious. Makoto put her hand to Akira’s hairline. Their was a large gash on the side of his head, but thanks to the magic it was already beginning to heal. She sighed in relief and took his hand.

She paused as she noticed something was different. She was touching skin, not Akira’s red gloves. Her eyes darted over his boyfriend and she realized he was no longer in his phantom thief clothes. Gone was his long black coat and pants, replaced with his street clothes, his hooded sweater being the one stained with blood.

“What?” She turned her gaze to his face. He wore no mask and his glasses had fallen several inches away from him. She reached over and picked them up.

“Is he gonna be alright?” Ann asked.

“He’ll be fine. I hope.” Morgana said. “I used the best spell I know, so it should heal most of his injuries.”

“Okay, but his clothes!” Ryuji said pointing them out. “That’s not supposed to happen, right? I mean it’s never happened before.”

“Could it be because he lost consciousness?” Yusuke suggested. Futaba shifted on her feet, putting her goggles over her eyes as she looked at Akira.

“Could be. His energy readings are in the red.” She explained then turned behind her, “Uh oh.”

“Dammit, what now?” Ryuji asked and got his answer in the form of the sound of rattling chains. “Shit. Of all the times to show up.”

The rattling chains became louder. Makoto clipped Akira’s glasses to her shirt and being as careful as she could, started to lift him up. “Fox, Skull, one of you take him.” She ordered. With their leader out of commission, she needed to take charge. “Oracle, start searching for the nearest rest area. Mona, get ready, we’re getting out of here.”

“R-right,” Morgana said. He took a few steps back, then jumped into the air and turned back into their bus. Yusuke lifted Akira over his shoulder and with help from Ryuji laid him down on the back seat. Makoto climbed into the driver's side and once everyone was seated, pushed on the gas and began driving.

The nearest rest area was, to their relief, not far, the ominous sound of chains fading once they reached the floor. Yusuke and Ryuji laid Akira on the ground near the sitting area and Makoto sat down next to him. She put his hand on his forehead and noted it was warm to the touch. She then turned her attention to his hooded sweater, and the red stain running across his chest. She brought her fingers up to the zipper.

“Uh, what are you doing?” Ryuji asked.

“I want to see,” Makoto said. She unzipped his sweatshirt down past his ribs and opened it. Were it any other situation, Makoto would be blushing at the sight of Akira’s exposed chest. Instead, she was staring in dismay at dried blood and a large painful looking slash. It was going to scar, just one look at it told her that. She zipped his sweater back up and looked to the others.

“How long you think he’ll be out?” Ann asked. Morgana looked at Akira, worried, and then at them.

“Not sure, but we can’t leave with him like this.” He said.

“I don’t get it. I saw him ready to fight and then he just froze. What happened out there? Was it the shadows?” Ryuji asked.

“Don’t think so.” Futaba said, “None of those shadows were cable of inflicting physical or mental status effects.” She then paused and added, “Akira, was acting a little weird before you guys came over.” Morgana stared at their fallen leader.

“What do you mean?” Haru asked.

“Like, I guess he told Sojiro he couldn’t help around the cafe because he wasn’t feeling well, but he had no fever. But he looked really tired.”

“Well, he did just wake up,” Morgana muttered, confusing all of them.

“But he had been talking with us in the chat,” Ryuji said and Morgana shifted like he was uncomfortable.

“He took a nap after. But, he looked like he had just gotten up.” Morgana explained, “I went for a walk while he was still sleeping and when I got back he was still in bed. Not reading or anything, just lying around.”

“That’s not like Akira,” Makoto said. She thought about her visit a few days ago, how he looked a bit pale, and his panic attack. Her next question was not just out of concern for her boyfriend but also looking for a connection. “Did he have a rough night? Any bad dreams?”

“Uh, I think I heard him wake up in the middle of the night, but I was in a pretty deep sleep,” Morgana said. Makoto nodded and brought her attention back to the young teenager, his chest rising and falling at a steady pace, eyes twitching now and again.

He looked like he was dreaming.

* * *

 

The bed below him was hard, the room was dark, yet through his blurry vision, he could recognize the sight of the soft velvet walls. He knew where he was, but he found himself unable to move, even as he heard the bars of his cell scream when slammed with a rod.

_“Get up, inmate!”_

He recognized the voice and knew the name, but his body felt too heavy to move, and he was so exhausted, his mind could not fully make sense of what was going on.

_“Our master showed you kindness and granted you power, yet you thank us with weakness. This is truly disappointing.”_ Another voice, this one a little calmer.

His eyes closed and forced himself to open them again when he heard a dark chuckle. _“So, after such a long game, you’re rehabilitation comes to an end by your own hands. What a pity.”_ The voice said and Akira forced himself to try and sit up.

“My own hands?” He asked, his vision going in and out. So tired. Why was it so hard to wake up? Why did he feel so weak?

_“You have given into your own ruin, and with it, ruin will come to your world.”_ Igor said, before pausing and adding, _“Or perhaps, this is not the end? Perhaps instead this is merely another obstacle on your journey. Rehabilitation never comes easily to thieves. I wonder, will you rise above it, with a new, stronger mask? Or will you give into the fear resting in your heart?”_ He paused  and chuckled as Akira laid back down on the bed, _“I look forward to seeing which direction you go in this game.”_

Akira closed his eyes and collapsed back on the stone bed. He felt cold, scared, and like he was being pricked with needles. He felt his resolve failing, his mind becoming filled with fog, and a part of him was hoping he would not wake up.


	3. How do you function without a mask?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still blown away by the response. So amazing. Love you all <3

As Akira regained consciousness, he first became aware of something touching his head, then the sounds of voices around him. He let out a small groan before opening his eyes. Everything was blurry, except for a face that was close enough he could make out a few solid features, specifically brown hair and red eyes, which widened in surprise.  
  
“Akira. Oh thank goodness.” Makoto had been the one to speak and she sounded relieved. He stared at her, then at the others as they surrounded him. Akira closed his eyes again for a few long seconds, then opened them again and lifted his hand up to rub his eye. He stopped when he did not feel the anything against his fingers. His glasses were missing.  
  
“Where?” He started, then grunted. Speaking hurt, like he had been punched in the chest and had the wind knocked out of him. Makoto appeared to already know what he was asking though, she pulled something off her person and played with it before turning back to him.  
  
“Here.”  
  
Makoto slipped his glasses onto his face - he subconsciously lifted his hand up to adjust them - and looked at each of his friends. Now that he could see clearly, he recognized them all in their phantom thief gear. He took longer to register the sight, and confirmed they were all wearing the clothes they had on when in the metaverse. Which left him confused. Makoto just put his glasses on him.  
  
“Hey man, how you feeling?” Ryuji asked. Akira tried to sit up and groaned as he felt a dull pain course through him. He put a hand on his chest then looked down at himself. He was in his street clothes and covered in blood. His face contorted at the sight, he had a feeling the blood was his.  
  
“Where are we?” He asked, not answering Ryuji’s question. Makoto, however, answered his.  
  
“We’re still in Mementos, but a few floors up. After you got hurt we thought it’d be better to retreat, especially with the Reaper beginning to make rounds.” She explained. Akira listened to her, and it came back to him. He froze, dropped his guard, and was hurt in their fight. He nodded so she knew he had heard her and watched as one of the eerie, shadow filled trains, drove down the train tracks. The unsettling feeling he got when he saw it go by never came to him. He closed his eyes and put a hand to his head.  
  
Something was wrong. Maybe it was because he had just regained consciousness, but he felt numb. There was a distance between himself and the world around him he could not quite place, like he was looking at it through a filter. He tried to concentrate on his power, on the masks in his mine he manifested in battle. He tried to visualize his Persona.  
  
His brain felt fuzzy. The image of Arsene in his mind was shrouded in fog and the more he tried to focus, the harder it was to concentrate. Then it was gone, the image no longer there, like it had been scrubbed from existence. Like it had never existed in the first place. He should have been concerned, instead, he just let his hand drop and stared down at the floor, overwhelmed with a mental exhaustion he never experienced in his life. His senses felt dulled, and his body heavy.  
  
He was only roused from his stupor when Makoto put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, and Makoto saw his face had become pale and his eyes had lost their color.  
  
“Akira-”  
  
“Joker.” He cut her off. Makoto waited for a few seconds to see if he would say anything else, but when he did not she continued.  
  
“Joker. I think considering our circumstances, it would be best for us to call it a night.”  
  
“I agree. We can’t explore Mementos while you’re hurt.” Morgana said.  
  
“I must agree, we’d be at a disadvantage with you incapacitated,” Yusuke said.  
  
_We can’t keep moving while you’re weak._  
  
Akira clenched his fist and tried to keep his face straight. The words that echoed in his brain were not what Morgana and Yusuke said. It was not what they meant. He hoped it was not they meant. Maybe it was. No, it was not.  
  
He had no idea anymore.  
  
“Yeah, let’s go home.” He said. His voice was flat and when he tried to stand, he stumbled. His legs were shaky and Makoto helped him keep his balance until Ryuji could take over.  
  
“Whoa, easy there. I got you.” He said. “Just try and take it slow, we’ll get back home in no time.”  
  
Akira gave a nod, feeling too tired to say anything else and instead kept his head down.  
  
Once they reached the entrance to Mementos and returned to the real world, Ryuji helped Akira into the nearest bathroom. Akira discarded his bloodstained hoodie and tossed it into the nearest and fullest trash can. He buttoned his jacket up as high as it would go, and to his dismay found it barely covered his injury, which thanks to Morgana’s magic had healed, but still looked fresh.  
  
“Here,” Ryuji said, taking off his sweater and tossing it to him.  
  
“You sure?”  
  
“Yeah, just give it back to me later.” He said then added, “And don’t worry I can handle a little cold.”  
  
Ryuji gave him a grin which Akira guessed was to reassure him, but his mind still felt hazy. Everything felt hazy. Did everything always feel as distant as it did? After a bit, he took his coat off so he could put on Ryuji’s sweater. He offered his jacket to Ryuji, but his friend shook his head telling him, again, the cold never bothered him.  
  
Akira gave his injury one last look in the mirror before zipping up Ryuji’s sweater. Morgana was watching him, head poked out of his bag. “We should get Takemi to look at it, even with my magic that still looks pretty bad,” Morgana suggested. Akira considered the option and then shook his head.  
  
“It’ll be fine.” He said, not noticing how off his voice sounded and pulled the hoodie over his head.  
  
Ryuji helped him outside and Akira sat down next to Makoto on one of the benches. The conversation that followed was short, and while he was only half listening he understood the basics. They would try exploring Mementos again at a later date, after Akira’s injury healed, which Morgana guessed would take a couple of days even with magic. In the meantime, they would go back to trying to find Shido’s keyword so they could enter his palace.  
  
Ryuji had offered to join Futaba, Morgana, and Akira in going back to Leblanc. Makoto did as well, but Akira assured both of them they would make it home fine. He gave his girlfriend a long hug as well as forced a smile on his face. “Would you feel better if I texted you when I got home?” He asked.  
  
“It would put my mind at ease.” She said. She looked him over. She was positive something was wrong. “You’re positive you’ll be okay?”  
  
“Mako, relax!” Futaba said rolling her eyes, “He has me, you have nothing to worry about.”  
  
“Well, I leave him in your capable hands then.” She said then looked at Morgana, “And yours too Mona.”  
  
“Trust me, we’ll take good care of him,” Morgana told her, trying to sound cheerful and reassuring. “We’ll do a better job than Ryuji could anyway.”  
  
“Hey!”  
  
Akira gave Makoto one last, exhausted, smile, and a small kiss before saying goodnight to her. Once on the train to Yongen-Jaya, he let his forced smile drop for a second, letting the fatigue form on his face. He then made himself smile again when Futaba began to cling to him and put a hand on her back. The crowded subway always got to her after awhile, and she felt more at ease once they reached their destination.  
  
The mask he had been trying to keep on him fell to pieces the moment he stepped into Leblanc. “Welcome back you two.” Sojiro greeted them then frowned when he saw Akira’s change in attire. “That’s an interesting shirt. What happened to your other one?”  
  
Akira opened his mouth to speak but closed it when he felt his voice crack. He kept his head down and hurried upstairs. He heard both Futaba and Sojiro say something but ignored them. Once in the attic he put his bag down, tossed his coat and shoes off and curled up under his blankets.  
  
“Akira?” Morgana asked, jumping onto the bed with him.  
  
“I’m fine.” He said, but from his voice, he sounded the opposite of fine and he knew it. He felt himself break and he pulled his blankets over his head and buried his face in his pillow. His chest hurt, but it was not from his injuries. It was something else and his breathing quickened. Morgana climbed over him and sat down, before doing the very cat-like thing of nuzzling his hand. Akira brought his hand up to his companions head and began petting him.  
  
The gesture helped him calm down and when he stopped Morgana shook his head and looked at him. “This is getting out of control. You’re not acting like yourself. What’s going on? Please tell me.”  
  
Akira said nothing, just shook his head. He then jumped when he heard his phone buzz, his heart racing. He reached for it and saw Makoto was messaging him.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Just heard from Futaba that you got home._  
  
His chest felt tight. He had promised Makoto he would message her when he got back home.  
  
**Akira:**  
_Sorry. I fell asleep._  
  
A long pause then he got a reply.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_I see. You did look very tired._  
  
Another pause.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Get some rest then. If you_ need  
anything _please let me know._  
_Have a good night._  
  
He dropped his phone by his pillow and closed his eyes, wishing sleep would take hold of him. When it did his dreams were as vivid and frightening as ever and Morgana’s ears drooped when he heard Akira whimpering in his sleep, and saw his hand grip his pillow.

* * *

  
Makoto looked at her phone as she rode the train to Yongen-Jaya station and then at the plastic bag she was holding. She and Ann had gone shopping after school to Akira a new sweater. Makoto was, as always, impressed with Ann’s eye for detail, the blonde girl was positive it was the right size, and even if they needed to exchange it because it was too small, they were sure Akira would appreciate the gesture.  
  
At least Makoto hoped he would, with how he had been behaving the last few days, it was harder than normal to tell what Akira was thinking. She glanced down at her one-sided conversation.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Morning Akira. Feeling any_  
_better today?_  
  
His lack of response to her morning text did not bother her at first, but when noon rolled around and he still had not replied, she started to worry. He had not responded to her other texts either.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Just wanna make sure you’re doing okay._  
_Have you gone to Dr. Takemi to have that_  
 _wound checked? I’m sure Morgana’s magic_  
_was enough, but it wouldn’t hurt to get it_  
_looked at by a professional._  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Mishima just asked me if you wanted to borrow_  
 _more school notes. Did you want me to copy_  
_them for you and bring them over?_  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Ann and I are going shopping after school._  
_Do you want me to get you a new hoodie?_  
_What’s your size?”_  
  
**Makoto:**  
_Having a hard time finding the right color,_  
_would something darker be okay?_  
_More of a gray than a blue._  
  
She finally had enough of the silence and sent one last message before stepping on the train.  
  
**Makoto:**  
_I’m on my way to Leblanc._  
  
That got her a response, but not from Akira.  
  
**Futaba:**  
_Oh thank Ramuh! Because I’m_  
_running out of ideas._  
  
The train stopped at Yongen-Jaya and she hurried out of the station and down the tight alleyways until she saw the familiar cafe. She opened the door, the bell catching Sojiro’s attention. He was putting together a tray of food and drink.  
  
“Evening Makoto. Heard from Futaba you’d be coming over.” He said. She nodded.  
  
“Is Akira upstairs?” She asked.  
  
“Yeah. Been up there all day.” He said then frowned as he put a cup on the tray. “Look before you go see him, can you explain something to me?”  
  
She frowned at his question, “What is it?”  
  
Sojiro sighed, trying to think of how he wanted to word his thoughts. He finally did, “I might be an old man and not up to speed with all this Phantom Thieves business you kids are involved in, but I know when someone is troubled. I passed Akira’s behavior off as him getting sick because I hoped that was all it was. But after he came home last night, I can’t ignore this. Do you know something? I’m not trying to accuse you of anything. I’m just worried about him.”  
  
“I know. And I am too.” Makoto said, “Akira keeps telling us - telling me - he’s fine. I’d rather not go into details, but after our outing yesterday, it’s obvious he’s not and I was hoping I could get him to talk a little today. He can’t keep hiding behind a forced smile.”  
  
“He’ll try. You teenagers are stubborn.” Sojiro said pouring another cup of coffee. “He’s also your leader, and a leader always puts his men and women before himself.”  
  
“Well, we can’t operate at pique efficiency if our leader is incapacitated.” Makoto told him, “He’s our friend, my boyfriend, he needs to know he can come to us if something is wrong.”  
  
Sojiro smiled at her and pushed the tray in her direction. It had three plates of curry, two cups of coffee, and glass or juice.  
  
“This is for you guys. I doubt Akira’s eaten much today, and Futaba needs to eat something besides instant ramen.” He sighed, “I need to start getting her off those high sodium foods.”  
  
“Thank you, Boss,” Makoto said.  
  
When she got up into the attic, she saw Futaba sitting on the sofa, playing her handheld. Akira was sitting on the floor against his bed, a book in hand, but he did not appear to be reading. Makoto noticed he was still wearing Ryuji’s sweater. He looked like he was wearing the same clothes as yesterday. Morgana was laying on the mattress and was the first to notice her presence. His ears perked up when he saw her. “Makoto!”  
  
Akira looked up when he heard her name. Futaba paused her game and jumped to her feet. “Oh thank goodness. I need your help!” She grabbed Makoto’s arm and pulled her down so she was in earshot. “I’ve been trying to help him out, but his stamina stat is seriously in the negatives. So’s his focus. Really really negative.”  
  
“Futaba I’m right here,” Akira said, his voice sounding the opposite of lively. Futaba turned to him.  
  
“I-I said nothing! You heard nothing!” She said then looked around for something to change the subject with. Her eyes fell on Makoto’s tray. “Aha! Sojiro thought ahead and provided sustenance. Hmmm, come to think of it, it is almost dinner. Let’s eat!”  
  
Futaba grabbed the tray from Makoto’s hands and hurried over to him. She put it on the floor and sat down. Makoto took a seat next to him and watched as Akira closed his book and let out a small breath. His eyes had a glazed over, hollow look to them.  
  
Morgana hopped off the bed and licked his lips. “Mmm, the chief’s curry is always good.” He said. Akira nodded in agreement.  
  
“Come on, let’s eat,” Makoto said and waited with expectation until Akira took one of the plates and a fork. He began to eat, and the two girls took their plates. Morgana climbed onto his hind legs and rested his front paws on Akira’s shoulder.  
  
“Can I have some?” He asked. Akira nodded and took a forkful of rice and sauce and held it out for his companion to eat.  
  
Once finished they put their plates back on the tray and Futaba sighed. “Plus ten as always.” She said then paused and got to her feet, still crouching so she was low to the ground, “Oh you know what would be good now? Desert! I think we still got some chocolate ice cream.”  
  
“Ch-ch-chocolate ice cream?” Morgana said, eyes lighting up, then blinked in confusion when Akira put a hand on his head.  
  
“Can’t eat chocolate Morgana. It’s bad for cats.” He said. Morgana pulled away.  
  
“But I’m not a cat!”  
  
“You are right now. No chocolate.” Akira told him and Morgana grumbled in frustration. “I’ll pass on dessert Futaba.”  
  
“I will too. I don’t think I can eat another bite.” Makoto said. Futaba pouted at both of them.  
  
“You two are so boring. Well, I’m still gonna get myself some ice cream. I’ll take this too.” Futaba said, taking the tray and hurrying downstairs. She then poked her head back upstairs. “Hey Mona, you coming or not? I got something cool I wanna show you in my room.”  
  
Morgana stared at her confused. “You did?” He asked then understood why Futaba had mentioned showing him something when she glared at him and glanced to the other two. “Oh right! I completely forgot about that...thing you mentioned.”  
  
Makoto gave the two a suspicious look. They - or at least Futaba - were scheming something, but she did not bring up their strange behavior. Akira appeared to not notice, he had gone back to staring at his book, the blank cover seeming to occupy his attention. The circles under his eyes were dark and had an unhealthy purple color to them.  
  
Once Futaba and Morgana were out of sight Makoto let her hands rest in her lap as she sat in silence with her boyfriend. She glanced at him, seeing even though he was looking at his book, he did not appear to be focusing on anything. She looked at the shopping bag she had brought with her and then back to him.  
  
“Hey.” She said, breaking the silence between them and getting his attention. “I got you something.”  
  
She handed him the bag and Akira looked at it for several seconds before reaching in and pulling out the sweater. She watched his face, and she saw it. A flicker of light in his eyes, one that faded just as it appeared. “Ann helped me pick it out, she was positive at first glance it would fit you. Do you like it?”  
  
Her question hung in the air as he looked at the sweater, then his face contorted, a sob escaped his lips. His eyes became watery and tears began to stream down his face.  
  
Makoto had hoped for some kind of reaction to his present, but she did not expect him to start crying. “Akira? What’s wrong?” She asked, and put a hand on his shoulder. He looked up at her, then to her surprise Akira wrapped his arm around her and pulled her into a tight hug. She froze for a second, the gesture startling her, but relaxed her eyes filled with sympathy as she wrapped her arms around his back. He was shaking, and she held onto him to help him keep stead.  
  
He regained his composure after a few seconds and without warning pulled away from her. “Sorry...” He muttered. He reached up to dry his eyes with his sleeve, then remembered he was wearing Ryuji’s sweater. Makoto reached into her bag and pulled out a small pack of tissues.  
  
“Akira, it’s okay.” She said giving him the pack. He took one and wiped his eyes. She inched a little closer. “Come here.”  
  
She wrapped an arm around him and he laid his head against her shoulder. She started playing with his hair, and he took his glasses off and closed his eyes, just focusing on the feeling of her fingers scratching his scalp.  
  
“You feeling better?” She asked after a few quiet minutes.  
  
“Think so.” He answered.  
  
“Is everything okay?”  
  
“Just….tired,” Akira said closing his eyes for a second before opening them again. “I had trouble sleeping last night.”  
  
“Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
“Not really.” He said then added, “There isn’t anything to talk about. I just feel like I’m trapped in my head and suffocating in a cell. It’s exhausting, and everything feels...wrong.” He moved his hands a little like he was feeling an invisible ball, a gesture that made little sense, but his words had her worried.  
  
“That sounds like something worth talking about Akira,” Makoto said. “Even if you don’t talk to me, you should at least speak to-”  
  
“Makoto, stop.” Akira cut her off and she fell silent hearing an edge to his tone she normally did not hear. “There’s nothing to talk about.”  
  
_And no one would want to listen anyway._  
  
Makoto fell silent. There was plenty to talk about, but it was obvious Akira did not want to, or could not. “Do you want me to leave?” She asked. Akira's response was not what she expected, he shook his head and his eyes were wide at the question. He looked almost scared of the thought.  
  
“Please stay.” He said, his voice weak and cracked.  
  
Makoto nodded and the two stayed together for a long time. Long enough Sojiro shouted upstairs to tell the two he was closing the shop for the night. Makoto stayed a little longer, reading the news and playing a game on her phone as Akira rested his head on her lap. She then noticed the time and realized she would need to leave soon if she wanted to catch the last train home.  
  
She told him he did not have to, but because it was dark Akira insisted on walking her to the station. He looked exhausted just going there and even a little uneasy when they saw people, his grip on her hand tightening so much she winced. Once down the stairs they sat down and waited for the train to arrive. When it stopped and the doors opened she got up and Akira pulled her into one last hug.  
  
“Thank you.” He said. “Thank you for visiting.”  
  
Makoto looked at him when he let go of her. “Of course.” She said then wrapped her arm around him and gave him a kiss. “I love you.”  
  
“...Love you too.” He said. His voice sounded strained.  
  
Makoto got on the train and watched as the doors closed and Akira left the station. She took a seat, thinking of her visit, of her boyfriend’s continued behavior, and of the events of the last few days. She looked at her phone and frowned as she stared at the screen.  
  
When she got home, she put her school bag on the couch and took a seat in front of the coffee table. She started her homework but realized quickly she could not concentrate. She leaned back and looked at the ceiling and wondered for a brief moment what Akira was doing right now. If she had to guess based on the time and his current demeanor, he probably went home and climbed into bed. His face was still fresh in her mind, the dark circles under his eyes, the paleness of his face.  
  
_“I just feel like I’m trapped in my head and suffocating in a cell.”_  
  
She remembered his words and a thought crossed her mind. She had been hoping today he would say something, but what if in some way he had? She sat up and pulled her phone out of her bag, then unlocked it and looked at her apps. She stared at one, in particular, the meta-nav, it’s black and red icon standing out among the other apps.  
  
She wondered if her hunch was possible. She remembered what Morgana had told them a few months back, but her sister and father always told her to trust her instincts and her instincts were screaming at her. She needed to at least know if it was possible. So she tapped the eye-shaped icon and turned on her phone's microphone. She waited for it to load and selected the search option. Then after a few seconds of hesitation, she spoke.  
  
“Akira Kurusu, leader of the Phantom Thieves.”  
  
There was a beep, followed by a confirmation chime:  
  
_“Result found.”_  
  
Makoto stared at her phone, her shoulders dropping as the reality of what she just learned hit her. She took a deep breath and wiped the forming tears. She did not want to believe what she had just heard, but if the meta-nav had a positive result, it had to be true.  
  
Akira Kurusu, they’re leader, her boyfriend, had a Palace and they needed to do something about it.

* * *

  
“Are you serious?!”  
  
Ryuji shouted so loud the others had to hush him to be quiet. It was the end of the school day, Makoto had messaged them all in the morning to meet her in the student council room after school, saying it was important. They agreed, but they all noticed the chat group was different from the ‘Phantom Thieves’ one. Akira's chat icon was also missing. When Haru asked about it Makoto only said she would tell them after school.  
  
Once Yusuke, Futaba, and Morgana were snuck into the school and in the student council room, Makoto pulled out her phone and showed them what she found the previous night. The room had become somber and serious, Ryuji’s shock covering all of theirs.  
  
“You gotta be kidding me,” Ryuji said sinking into a chair. “Please tell me this is some crazy joke.”  
  
“I wish it were, but this thing doesn't lie and I double checked it this morning just in case.” Makoto said, then sat down in her chair, “Akira has a palace.”  
  
“But that’s impossible. I mean, yeah, he has some baggage, but aren’t the only people that form palaces people whose hearts are really distorted. Like really bad people or people who need help like Futaba did?”  
  
“It should be impossible for another reason,” Yusuke said getting their attention. The young artist looked at Morgana. “Morgana, you said before that it’s impossible for those who control their Persona to have a palace.”  
  
“Right.” Morgana said then paused and after some hesitation added, “well...maybe?”  
  
“Maybe?” Ryuji repeated, “Don’t tell me you didn’t know the whole time and were just making stuff up!”  
  
“It’s not that!” Morgana said looking between each of them. “What I said is true. If you have a persona, then you can’t have a palace because you already control your shadow and the desires of your heart. But Akira’s powers are not quite the same as ours.”  
  
“He can use multiple Personae,” Haru said.  
  
“So many I lost track,” Ann muttered and Yusuke nodded in agreement.  
  
“I’ve counted at least seventy-five unique Persona. Some are quite disgusting, there are many which are quite pleasing to the eye.” He said getting looks from the others. “Is something wrong?”  
  
“Just surprised you kept track,” Ann said as Futaba rolled her eyes.  
  
“Seriously Inari, you’re the only person who’d care enough to count,” Futaba said, getting a disapproving frown from Yusuke before getting back to the topic at hand. “But would him having multiple personae even matter? A Persona’s still a persona. Even if some of them are kinda gross they all follow the same rules.”  
  
With Futaba’s statement in mind, the group sat around the table trying to think everything over. Ryuji looked up.  
  
“Well if Akira has multiple personas, that means he has multiple hearts right? So maybe one of them could have formed a palace?” He asked.  
  
“That doesn't change the fact that a persona is a persona and having a persona means no palace,” Futaba said. Ryuji blinked, taking a few seconds to make sense of what Futaba was saying before letting out a frustrated grumble.  
  
“Ugh, why does this have to be so hard?”  
  
“While Futaba has a point, Akira gets pretty much all of his personae by talking to shadows.” Ann said, “If you think about it like that, wouldn’t that mean he doesn’t have his own Persona like we do? He could have his own palace if that’s the case.”  
  
“No, he has Arsene.” Ryuji said, “He awakened to Arsene the same way the rest of us awakened to our Persona. I saw it, it was before we met Morgana.”  
  
“Then Arsene would be the persona which is part of him, like how Milady is to me,” Haru said. “So we’re back to square one and with no idea why Akira would have his own palace.”  
  
The seven looked at each other, Morgana sitting on the table as they all tried to make sense of their situation. Then Futaba looked up, a thought coming to her, and she looked at Morgana.  
  
“Hey Mona, can I ask you a hypothetical question?” She asked.  
  
“Uh, okay, sure.”  
  
“Is it possible for us to lose control of our persona?”  
  
The question hung in the air, getting everyone’s attention and all eyes fell on Morgana, who also looked surprised by the question. However as their feline-like companion thought it over, he found he had an answer.  
  
“Actually, it is possible.” Morgana explained, “If a persona is awakened prematurely or the user loses their resolve, then they can lose control of it.”  
  
“What happens if they lose control?” She asked.  
  
“Well, either the persona will try and kill its host, or it will turn back into a shadow. At least, I think that's how it works.”  
  
“I see…” Futaba trailed off nodding at the new information. “Then, maybe it is possible.”  
  
“What do you mean?” Ryuji asked.  
  
“I think I get it.” Ann said, “If we assume Akira ‘lost his resolve’ and in turn lost control of Arsene, then it’s possible his heart could become distorted enough to form a palace.”  
  
The group thought it over and to most of them, it seemed to make sense. However, Ryuji just appeared more confused.  
  
“But doesn’t that kind of distortion take time to form? What could cause it to happen so quickly?” He asked.  
  
“Unfortunately I think we know the answer to that question.” Makoto said getting everyone’s attention, “Akira’s been acting strange since we pulled off our plan, and while we knew the risks, it’s becoming more and more obvious we did not consider the full consequences. Being beaten and drugged by the police has obviously taken a toll on him.”  
  
“Akira’s been having a lot of nightmares lately.” Morgana said, “He keeps waking up at night and all he wants to do is sleep or lie in bed during the day. It’s like he has no energy and when I keep asking what’s wrong-”  
  
“He just says he’s tired.” Makoto finished. Morgana looked down at the table.  
  
“He seemed very depressed yesterday when Makoto and I were hanging out with him,” Futaba said. “Sojiro told me he’s been skipping meals too. When I brought our plates downstairs he was surprised we got Akira to eat dinner.”  
  
Makoto nodded, eyes downcast. “I didn’t say anything about this because I hoped it was an isolated incident, but a few days ago I brought Akira some school notes. While we were studying he spaced out and when I tried to get his attention, I think he had panic attack.”  
  
“A panic attack?” Ann asked.  
  
“Yes. I managed to help him calm down, but he didn’t want to talk about it. He just said he felt like he lost himself for a moment.” Makoto said, “And yesterday when we were alone he was talking about how he felt lost in his own head and like he was suffocating in a cell.”  
  
“Maybe getting out of Leblanc could help him?” Haru suggested.  
  
“I don’t think so.” Ryuji said, “We went out to the movies and he kept looking over his shoulder. He seemed convinced someone was following him.” He frowned and without warning cried out and slammed his fist on the table. “Dammit, why didn’t we notice anything until now?”  
  
“Because Akira is good at wearing a mask.” Yusuke said, “Only now the mask has cracks in it and is in danger of falling apart.”  
  
“Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if it did fall apart already.” Futaba pointed out and they all remembered what happened in Mementos. Ryuji shook his head.  
  
“Then we gotta do something or he’s gonna get worse,” Ryuji said. The others nodded in agreement. “Okay, we have the who, we just need the where and the what. Might as well start with the obvious. Cafe Leblanc?”  
  
_“Match found.”_  
  
Ryuji grinned, “Well look at that. This might be easier than I thought.”  
  
“Leblanc huh.” Futaba said, “Well I guess that one's a no-brainer.”  
  
“Cafe Leblanc is where he lives and where he’s stuck in hiding.” Makoto said then sighed, “I guess it would make sense for it to be where his distortion is.”  
  
“Okay so we have the ‘who’ and ‘where’, now we just need the ‘what’.” Ryuji said, “Let’s see, distorted desires. Maybe something related to our plan? Interrogation room.”  
  
_“No match found.”_ Was the Navigation apps response and Ryuji’s face faltered. So close, yet so far.  
  
“Probably too narrow.” Futaba said, “How about Police Station?”  
  
_“No match found.”_  
  
“Police Office?” Ann guessed. The nav again informed them it was not a proper match.  
  
“That’s technically the same thing,” Futaba told her.  
  
“Well, you know how this thing is with words.” Ann said, “Okay well before the interrogation, he was captured in Niijima-san’s palace. Maybe, courthouse?”  
  
_“No match found.”_  
  
“Dammit.”  
  
“Perhaps we’re going about this the wrong way.” Yusuke said, “Hearts do not distort overnight, they take time. Certainly more than a few days. Perhaps we need to think further beyond the immediate event.”  
  
“So instead of thinking of the interrogation as the cause, we should think of it as the catalyst,” Makoto said. "Alright, let's assume if Akira never awakened to his persona, his heart would distort over time because of everything that's happened since his transfer."  
  
“In that case, maybe prison?” Haru asked.  
  
_“No match found.”_  
  
“Damn another dud.” Ryuji said, “But I think we’re getting closer. Maybe..solitary confinement?”  
  
_“No match found.”_  
  
“Rehabilitation Center,” Yusuke suggested.  
  
_“No match found.”_  
  
“Correctional Facility?” Morgana guessed.  
  
_“No Match Found.”_  
  
Morgana screamed in frustration. “Why are there so many different words for ‘jail’?”  
  
_“No Match Found.”_  
  
The group of seven fell silent trying to piece the puzzle together. “Dammit, how many more places are there for holding criminals?” Ryuji asked. “Prison courtyard?”  
  
_“No Match Found.”_  
  
“Wait,” Makoto said, thinking for a moment. “Every place we’ve named is a where an adult is held. Akira’s still a minor.” She looked down at the navigation app. “Juvenile Hall.”  
  
_“Candidate found, please approach destination to begin navigation.”_  
  
The group looked at each other. In some ways they were hoping they were all just having the same bad dream, but the nav did not lie. Ryuji leaned back in his chair.  
  
“So, when do we begin?” Ryuji asked, “Should we go now?”  
  
“Maybe we should check on Akira first.” Ann suggested, “Actually, we should probably tell him what we’re up to.”  
  
“But what if that affects his palace?” Morgana asked then after some pondering added. “Still, I don’t like the idea of sneaking around in his heart without him knowing.”  
  
“We should at least check on him,” Makoto said, agreeing with Ann. She wanted to see him again, and hope that he looked better than he had last night, but with the revelation of his palace, she had an unsettling feeling he was not. “Come on, let’s get going.”

* * *

  
When they reached Cafe Leblanc, Sojiro was coming downstairs, rubbing his temples. “Hey Sojiro,” Futaba said a smile on her face which faded as he saw her adoptive father’s expression. “Is Akira still upstairs?”  
  
“He hasn’t come down all day. I was planning to drag him out of bed and take him to the clinic, either that or ask if she can make a house call.” He looked at the group, “I take it you aren’t here for a study session.”  
  
“We have Phantom Thief business today,” Makoto said. “Could you wait until we’re done to call the doctor over?”  
  
Sojiro wanted to say no, but after some consideration changed his mind. “You have until evening.” He said.  
  
“Thank you.”  
  
The group went upstairs and once up in the attic they saw Akira was still in bed, lying on his side and facing the wall. Morgana hurried over and climbed onto the bed to get a look at Akira’s face. His eyes were somewhat open, but he did not react to the shift in weight. Morgana looked at him, worried.  
  
Makoto took a seat on the bed and put a hand on Akira’s shoulder. His reaction was slow, but he rolled over a little to look at her. “Hey. How’re you feeling?” She asked.  
  
Akira looked at her, then the others then sighed and rolled back over. “I’m okay.” He muttered and it sounded like he was struggling to speak.  
  
“Dude, no offense, but you don’t look or sound okay,” Ryuji said. Akira made a small noise, then fell silent, and closed his eyes. Makoto reached over, letting her fingers move through his hair.  
  
“Akira. Can we talk for a few minutes?” Makoto asked. The group waited for a response. They waited a few seconds, then several minutes. Morgana pushed his paw into Akira’s cheek and got no reaction. He was either sleeping, ignoring them, or not even aware they had spoken.  
  
Makoto turned back to the others and stood up. “We have no choice, we have to go.”  
  
“Then we should go downstairs and get started,” Haru said.  
  
They went back downstairs and without hesitating, Makoto took out her phone and activated the nav. Sojiro told them he would close the shop so they had some privacy, but he would return in the evening to take Akira to the clinic. That gave them a few hours, which they hoped would be enough time to get the layout of the palace and secure an infiltration point.

"Everyone ready?"  
  
“Ready as we’ll ever be,” Ann said. Ryuji sighed.  
  
“This is weird. Going into the mind of my best friend, invading his privacy. Dammit. But there’s no other choice is there.” He said.  
  
“Believe me, I wish there was another option,” Makoto said. She activated the meta-nav and brought up Akira’s palace as their destination. “Last call, if you’re all ready to do this we will.”  
  
“Yeah, I’m ready,” Ryuji said without any hesitation. Morgana jumped onto the table.  
  
“Let’s go Makoto.”  
  
Makoto nodded and after taking a breath to steady her nerves, selected the button to begin navigation. The world began to fizzle and distort as they entered the metaverse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably gonna start another P5 fic soon, I'm just not sure which to do because I have two ideas. Sequel fic that crosses over with P4 or AU retelling but without the metaverse and a bigger focus on human drama. Decisions decisions...
> 
> But first, need to finish uploading this.


	4. Welcome to the Palace of Akira Kurusu

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little late. Long work day, but here's the next chapter. Thanks again everyone for the amazing support!
> 
> I've read this chapter over so many times I now feel like my eyes are falling out X_X

None of them were sure how Akira’s heart saw Juvenile Hall, but once reality gave way to the distorted world, the seven Phantom Thieves got their answer. It was a large building, similar to a school, gray on the outside, and with closed and boarded up windows. A large barb wired fence cut them off from the general building and searchlights watched the grounds, waiting for outsiders to try and approach.  
  
Ryuji could be heard taking a deep breath and letting it out and they all looked down to see they had changed into their Phantom Thief clothes. They were already recognized as a threat. Akira did not want them knowing what was inside his heart.  
  
“This place looks huge,” Ann said looking up at it. “Alright so first things first, we need to secure our infiltration route.”  
  
“Right, same as always. Find and secure our route to the treasure.” Morgana said, “Only since Joker’s not here, we’ll need to appoint a temporary leader. How about you Queen?”  
  
“I second the nomination.” Yusuke said, “You’re already our second in command, it would make sense for you to lead in Joker’s place.”

"I'd like to third that nomination. I'd feel safest with you leading queen." Haru told her.  
  
Makoto looked between all of them who gave nods or vocalized their approval. “Well, if no one has any objections, I’ll do it.” She said, “Alright, first we need to find a way in.”  
  
“Already ahead of you,” Futaba said. She put her goggles on and summoned her Persona. A green light emitted from it, scanning the area. “Doing a quick scan of the outside, there's a hole in the fence over that way,” she pointed to the far left, “We can sneak onto the grounds and should be able to find a door leading inside.”  
  
“Impressive Oracle, maybe you should be our leader.”  
  
Futaba laughed. “Nah, I’m totally good just hanging back! Alright leader girl, do your job and, well, lead.”  
  
“Yes, we’re right behind you Queen,” Haru said. Makoto nodded and clenched her fists to steady her nerves.  
  
“Alright, let’s go.”  
  
Makoto led the group to the hole in the fence Futaba had mentioned. Getting onto the grounds was the easy part, however finding an entrance into the actual building was another story. The main entrance had two large and powerful shadows in front of it, and Futaba noted with her scan that even if they could defeat the shadows, the door was locked. They stayed close to the building as they tried to find another entrance, dodging the search lights, which to their relief were not difficult to avoid.  
  
After several long minutes, the group found what they were hoping for, an unlocked door near the back of the facility. Makoto opened it, checked for nearby guards, then motioned for the others to follow her inside. They walked the short hallway and Makoto opened another door. This one lead into a large, dark, room with tables and chairs knocked over and doors lining the walls. Some were open, producing light, many were closed, and they could hear muffled yelling behind them.  
  
“Oh shit,” Ryuji muttered as they stepped into the room. “What is this place?”  
  
“Not sure. A mess hall maybe?” Ann suggested as they looked around the room. Makoto took a few steps forward and gasped when her foot slipped on some papers. She regained her balance, and knelt down and picked up the papers. She read the papers and realized they were about Akira. His current school, his previous school, age, grade average, and the reason for his expulsion from his last school, along with notes from various teachers and even a guidance counselor. The notes were illegible, as though Akira knew something was supposed to be written, but he did not know what.  
  
She wondered if there were any more files, but then a small bang, like something had been dropped got their attention. “What was that?” She asked.  
  
“Look!” Ann shouted pointing up at the walkway above them. They saw something humanoid shaped looking at them. Its eyes widened and it ran. “Hey!”  
  
Ann hurried to the stairs, Ryuji and Yusuke right behind her, and the rest behind them. She climbed up the stairs and chased whatever it was into one of the open cells. She stopped at the entrance and saw an empty bed and tipped over desk and chair. “What the heck?”  
  
“Panther, you alright?” Ryuji asked.  
  
“I thought whatever that was came in here, but...” She started then trailed off as her eyes fell on the desk. She hurried over and grabbed it. “Hey, one of you give me a hand.” She said.  
  
Ryuji and Yusuke looked at each other and Ryuji hurried over to help her. He grabbed the other side and with a lot of effort helped her pull the desk back up. Ann looked at the wall and let her shoulders sag. “Dammit. I thought, maybe there might be a secret passage behind it.” She looked around, “It doesn’t look like there’s any way out of this room.”  
  
“You sure whatever you saw came in here?” Morgana asked as he entered the room.  
  
“Positive.”  
  
“What was that thing anyway? It looked almost like a person.” Haru said.  
  
“Perhaps you saw a shadow?” Yusuke asked.  
  
“Maybe. They usually don’t run away from us though.” Ann said as Ryuji knelt down and picked up a large piece of paper.  
  
“Hey, look at this.” He said getting their attention. He placed the paper on the upright desk and laid it out. It was a blueprint of the building. “This must be the map to the palace.”  
  
“Oh, good find.” Morgana said jumping onto the desk, “And it looks like it’s already complete.”  
  
“Does it tell us where the treasure is?” Makoto asked as Morgana looked over the map, trying to make sense of it. He found where they were easily enough and after a few more seconds jumped to the other side of the paper and placed his hand on a specific spot on the map.  
  
“It’s gotta be here.” He said getting them to look at it.  
  
“That’s the fourth floor of the palace,” Futaba said. “Prisoner Room AK, huh?”  
  
“This place looks smaller than how it looked from the outside.” Morgana said looking over the map, “There's a lot of narrow hallways, if we keep a decent pace we might finish this up in a day or two.”  
  
“There’s gotta be some kind of catch.” Makoto said, “Some kind of detour or hidden room, it’s never as easy as ‘go straight and take a left.’”  
  
“Mako-chan’s right. We should keep an eye out for any obstacles.” Haru said.  
  
“Okay, but what if there isn’t anything like that?” Ryuji asked, “I mean a guy can dream right?”  
  
Morgana sighed, “Well you can dream, but dreaming won’t make it come true.” He said, “Come on let’s get out of here.”  
  
They left the open cell and climbed back down the stairs only to stop short when they saw someone in the middle of the mess hall. Someone, with messy black hair and glasses. Even in the dark room, they could recognize his appearance anywhere. “Akira?”  
  
Akira looked up in surprise at the sound of his name and they all knew something was different. Something was off. The lenses of his glasses were cracked and he was dressed in the black and white striped prison garb she had only ever seen prisoners wear on television. His eyes - which were bright yellow, not dark gray - were wide, confused, and scared.  
  
Makoto tried to approach him, only for Akira to run away. “Akira! Wait!” She yelled, but he kept running, shoving the door to the next hallway open. Makoto and the others gave chase, but the moment the door shut a lock appeared on it stopping them in their tracks. “No, Akira, come back! It’s just us.” She tried to push on the door, but it would not budge.  
  
“It appears we’ve been locked out,” Yusuke said. They were all thinking the same thing, Akira, on some level, was trying to keep them away from his problems.  
  
“Are there any other entrances Futaba?” Makoto asked. Futaba shook her head.  
  
“Not unless we want to go through the front door.” was their navigator's response. Makoto thought for a second, noting the open prison cells.  
  
“Then, I guess we should look around this room for some kind of key,” Makoto said.  
  
The group split up and checked the open cells. The interiors all looked the same, a bed with no pillow or blanket, a tipped over desk and chair, and various papers scattered on the floors. Makoto knelt down and looked at a few more papers. Some were copies of Akira’s student file in various states of legibility, there was another which was his arrest record, almost all the information blacked out and redacted.  
  
Yusuke was the one who found the key, under a mattress, and he played with it in his fingers before giving it to Makoto. She looked it over, then inserted it in the lock.  
  
They heard a click and the key disintegrated into dust, but so did the lock. Makoto called for the others and then pushed the door open. It led to a hallway with little light, the windows above them were sealed shut, doors lined the walls. There was text on a few of them but blurred or scratched off to the point of being unreadable.  
  
Ann tried to open one of the doors only to find it locked and no way to unlock it, so the thieves decided their best course of action was to continue forward. The hall was shorted and opened into a cafeteria. The setup was similar to the mess hall, tables were upright, but chairs, trays, and other things littered the floor. It was quiet, the thieves footsteps echoed in the empty room.  
  
“It looks like there was some kind of riot or something.” Ann said, “Where is everyone?”  
  
“The shadows? No idea, not picking anything up.” Futaba said. Makoto ran her fingers along one of the tables, kicking up dust.  
  
“Ominous,” Yusuke said. “A prison in disarray and yet no prisoners or police patrolling the grounds. Except for the ones outside, who are doing a poor job keeping intruders like us out. What does it mean?”  
  
“Does it really matter?” Ryuji asked.  
  
“Well if security is lax then it either means a part of Akira wants help, or the guards are closer to the treasure. Or it could mean nothing, and we just got here before the palace attracted any shadows.” Morgana said, then he looked up, “Hey look!”  
  
He pointed behind them and Makoto looked toward the kitchen to see a familiar face leaning against the wall. “Akira?” She asked. He looked the same as he did in the mess hall and when he saw them he gasped, looked around, and made a mad dash for the nearest door. “Wait!”  
  
He did not stop running and disappeared into the hallway. Makoto was ready to chase after him when Morgana shouted at her.  
  
“Makoto stop! I don’t think chasing him is to help. "

"He looked really scared,” Ann said.  
  
“But why?” Ryuji asked, “I mean yeah sure the masks are kinda scary I guess, but it’s not like he hasn’t seen us in our Phantom Gear before.”  
  
“Maybe he doesn’t recognize us?” Haru suggested then shook her head. “No that doesn’t make sense.”  
  
“Maybe something else’s got him spooked,” Futaba said then she gasped. “Maybe this place is like that hospital of horrors.”  
  
“Oh man, I remember that movie,” Ryuji said then his face turned pale. “Wait, don’t tell me there’s something like that thing wondering around and if we make a wrong turn-”  
  
“Don’t even think about finishing that sentence!” Ann cut him off. Haru glared at him as well, her legs shaking. Makoto’s face had paled. Futaba let out a small chuckle.  
  
“And here I thought Blue Barrels was bad.” She commented before turning her attention to a locked door further away from them. “Okay, according to this map and my scans, through there is the next floor.”  
  
“And it needs to be unlocked too.” Haru said, “Maybe the key is in the kitchen.”  
  
It was worth looking, however, after searching the kitchen as well as checking the floor, they came up empty. Yusuke suggested a break, which Morgana agreed to, complaining and wondering out loud why it was so hard to find a key and why all the doors were locked. They were not in any kind of safe room, but with no shadows around they doubted they would be attacked.  
  
After a minute, Makoto found herself staring at the door Akira had run through. It was still open, almost like even as he ran away, he was still inviting them to follow. She frowned, if the Akira they were seeing was a cognition, was it possible he had the key? Or was she overthinking? And why did it seem like he was scared of them? It made her wonder how much it represented how Akira felt in the real world.  
  
A large empty prison with a single prisoner left alone to wander the halls, fearful of any help that might come to his aid. She hoped she was just overthinking.  
  
Haru tapped her shoulder getting her attention. “What’s wrong Queen? Are you okay?” She asked. Makoto noticed at that moment all eyes were on her. Her face turned a slight shade of red from the sudden attention.  
  
“It’s nothing,” Makoto said, but when the others kept looking at her she sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m just thinking, that’s all.”  
  
“That’s not an ‘it’s nothing’ face Queen,” Ann said.  
  
“You’re right. I’m worried.” She said. They all were, she looked back at the door. “I think I have an idea, but we should continue moving.”  
  
“Okay, well, where?” Ryuji asked and Makoto got up and pointed to the door across from them.  
  
“Through there.” She pointed to the door the figure who looked like their friend ran through, “If the key isn’t in this cafeteria it’s probably somewhere further in the palace. Probably in an office or something.” She explained, keeping her additional thoughts to herself.  
  
“Hopefully this doesn’t turn into one of those puzzles where the key is behind a door you need to find another key to to unlock and that turns out to be a key to another place you need to go to get the actual key.” Futaba said, then an annoyed look crossed her face, “I hate those puzzles. Whoever came up with them can burn in a volcano.”  
  
No one said anything to Futaba’s comment, but Makoto saw Ryuji and Ann nodding in agreement out of the corner of her eye.  
  
The hallway was similar to the last, poorly lit and the windows boarded up. Bars lined the walls and it became obvious to the thieves they were prison cells. As they walked, Ryuji paused looking at one of the cells. Something caught his attention, maybe it was his imagination but he thought he saw a bit of red in the darkness.  
  
“Hey, hold on guys.” He said. He put his hands on the bars and peered into the cell.  
  
At first, he saw nothing but darkness, but as his eyes adjusted he noticed movement. Then several red lights appeared and shadowed figures rushed for the bars. He yelped and jumped back, Ann putting an arm in front of him, whip in hand in case they were attacked. The bars kept the figures in their prison.  
  
“The hell did you do Ryuji?” Ann asked glaring at him.  
  
“Hey hey I didn’t do anything!”  
  
_“Is that him?”_ A whisper caught their attention. Followed by another.  
  
_“This is a college prep school, why would they allow someone as dangerous as him in here?”_  
  
“Dangerous?” Ryuji repeated as the room became filled with familiar whispers. “Wait this sounds really familiar.”  
  
_“He seems quiet, but you never know…”_  
  
_“I hear he carries a knife on him.”_  
  
_“Isn’t he the guy who was arrested for assault?”_  
  
_“Drugs, booze, I hear he’s done it all…”_  
  
_“Better not stare at him. He might knife ya if you look at him the wrong way.”_  
  
_“I hear he’s one of those people who snapped and almost killed someone.”_  
  
“These whispers…” Makoto sighed, trailing off. She had heard them before. Most of them had at one point.  
  
“These are those rumors our classmates were spreading after Akira transferred to our school,” Ann said. She noticed the shadows were wearing the Shujin Academy uniform, the voices were even similar, if somewhat warped. However each humanoid shadow had glowing red eyes, and as they reached out for the thieves their hands seemed more like claws.  
  
Haru shuddered at the sight, and Makoto watched them. She took a step back, then jumped, screaming, as she felt fingers on her. Shadows were in the cells behind them too, all whispering the same haunting rumors that had gone through the school. She glared at them.  
  
“We should hurry.” She said and quickened her pace, the others following behind her. The shadows reached for them as they walked past. Ryuji made a small nervous noise, leaning away from one that tried to get its fingers on his hair.  
  
“Their words are horrifying. Is this really what your student body was saying about him?” Yusuke asked.  
  
“I do remember hearing some of them at the beginning of the year, but never paid much attention,” Haru said. “I wish they’d just stop talking.”  
  
The voices did not quiet down as they continued, the words instead blended into one another until they were just noise. The group turned a corner and heard a scream. Then another, a pained scream, followed by the sound of something hitting the floor. Makoto hurried down the hall and heard another scream at the end of it, behind, once again, a door. She grabbed the handle and turned it, only to find it stuck.  
  
“Dammit!” She shouted then noticed unlike the other doors, the window was visible. She looked into the room, the others next to or behind her and saw Akira, dressed in the black and white striped prison garb, handcuffed to a chair, surrounded by shadows in the shape of police officers, one in a nice suit. They watched as he was kicked to the floor.  
  
_“Come on, cooperate! Or what, you want another shot?”_  
  
The words were crystal clear as though they were inside the room with their friend. Makoto jiggled the handle again then let out a frustrated growl before taking a few steps back and trying to kick it open. She winced as she felt pain shoot through her leg and almost lost her balance. Ryuji caught her and motioned for her and the others to step back and give him some room. He then rushed to the door and rammed his side into it.  
  
Nothing happened. He tried it again and he cursed in pain. The only thing he was succeeding at was hurting his shoulder.  
  
Another cry came from the room followed by coughing as they saw Akira curled up on the floor, looking like he had just been kicked in the stomach. The shadow then walked away, holding up its hand like it was pretending to read something, then looked back at him.  
  
_“Talk about the works. To think that all those crimes were led by a punk like this. And you enjoyed every second of it, huh?”_  
  
The room’s light snapped off, then a second later, snapped back on in time for them to see the shadow slam his foot into Akira’s leg. “We have to get in their, they’re torturing him!” Makoto shouted, then got an idea. “That’s it!”  
  
Without waiting for the other’s to ask, Makoto pulled out her revolver and with no hesitation shot the handle. The doorknob snapped and fell to pieces and she shoved the door open.  
  
The moment they were inside the room, the shadows vanished. The light stayed on, and the room became quiet, except for the sound of whimpering. Akira had somehow curled himself into a ball in the corner of the room. He was shivering.  
  
Makoto and Ryuji were the first by his side, the teenager boy putting a hand on his shoulder. The reaction was instant, Akira let out a frightened cry and tried to push him away. “Whoa, easy there,” Ryuji said, surprised before realizing his reaction was not the most appropriate for the situation. He tried to soften his voice. “Hey, it’s okay.”  
  
“Akira, you’re safe now,” Makoto said. The others looked on and for a long while, Akira did not move. Then he moved his arms away from his face, letting them get a good look at his eyes.  
  
They were bright yellow, the same as the Akira they saw before. He looked terrified and when Makoto tried to touch his shoulder, he tensed up and tried to increase the gap between them.  
  
“Akira, it’s okay. It’s us.” She said. Without hesitating, she pulled her mask up to her hairline so it was no longer covering her face. “See?”  
  
He stared at her, blinking slowly, and looked at Ryuji. Ryuji pulled his up and grinned. The others follow suit, except Futaba who had her goggles outright vanish and be replaced by her glasses. Akira looked at each of them taking in their faces and finally relaxed. He sat up, leaned against the wall, the fear on his face being replaced with a heavy fatigue.  
  
“You’re safe now,” Makoto said getting him to look at her. “Come on, we should get out of here.”  
  
Then the fear came back and Akira shook his head. “N-no.”  
  
“No?” Ann asked. Akira buried his head in his arms.  
  
“Out there. I can’t…” He started and then trailed off as his voice cracked and pointed out into the hallway, where the shadows were. The ones which recited the rumors Akira had heard every day since he began attending Shujin Academy.  
  
They all understood right away, but Makoto was the first to offer him a smile and a hand. “I understand, but Akira, we’re here with you. We’ll make sure they can’t get you.”  
  
Her words got his attention. He looked at her hand, took in her reassuring smile. Then he looked at Ryuji, Ann, Morgana, Yusuke, Futaba, and Haru. Then back to Makoto. They were all smiling. All waiting for him.  
  
He reached up and took her hand and his friends made a protective circle around him as they escorted him out of the room.

* * *

  
By the time they returned to the cafeteria, Akira’s hands were shaking, as were his legs. Everyone agreed to take a break, and once they sat down Futaba scanned the area.  
  
“No shadows outside of the ones in those cells.” She told them, “We should be safe.”  
  
“Yeah but for how long?” Ryuji asked. Morgana glared at him and jumped off the table to kick him in the leg. “Ow! Hey!”  
  
“Can’t you see we have someone who needs some assurance,” Morgana said, then pointed over to Makoto and Akira, the former trying to help the latter steady his breathing. His fingers twitched, hesitant to be touched, but he relaxed once his hands were in hers.  
  
“Just take a deep breath in, and then let it out. Yes, like that, good.” She said nodding as he followed her instructions. She smiled as she noticed his hands stopped shaking, but his shoulders stayed tense. “It’s okay, you can relax around us. You know that right.”  
  
Akira said nothing but did not his head. Makoto’s smile faded, not liking how he was avoiding her gaze. “What’s wrong?”  
  
A simple question, but Akira looked uneasy. He pulled his hands out of hers and placed them on his lap. He opened his mouth to speak, then clamped shut as though afraid to say anything.  
  
“You can tell us anything you know,” Ann said.  
  
“She’s right,” Makoto told him and he glanced up at the group before looking down at his own hands.  
  
“Why are you here?” He asked.  
  
The room fell silent as the remaining thieves looked at each other, confused. “We’re here to take your treasure?” Ryuji answered. Akira stared him, looking like he had seen a ghost.  
  
“We’re here to help you.” Ann clarified, getting his attention. He then shook his head. “No?”  
  
“You can’t help.” He said.  
  
“What are you talking about?” Ryuji asked, “All we have to do is steal your treasure and then everything will be better. Just like with Futaba.”  
  
Again Akira shook his head, but this time he started crying, burying his head in his hands. He said something that was incoherent in his sobs and Makoto pulled him close to her to help him calm down. “Easy there.”  
  
She kept a steady hand on him as they waited for him to calm down. When he did Akira fell silent for a little while before speaking again. “Taking his treasure won’t change anything.” He said, “It won’t bring his power back, he’s lost.”  
  
“He?” Yusuke repeated. “Forgive me for my question, but you are a cognition of Akira, aren’t you?”  
  
Akira nodded, then paused and shook his head. “A part of him, but not a cognition. I am him, the side he tries to keep other people from seeing. That includes you guys.”  
  
Morgana’s eyes widened, his mouth opening a bit as he absorbed the information. “Then, you’re Akira’s shadow.” He said. The shadow nodded. “So Akira really did lose his resolve...but if you’re his shadow you must know how to help him, right?”  
  
A pause, then the shadow shook his head. “Maybe? Maybe not? All I remember is being here. Being surrounded by walls; the whispers and screams don’t stop. It feels like I’m trapped in a hell with no way out.” He explained then let his head sag. “I’m scared. He’s scared. Or was, now he’s just resigned himself to it. Just existing, keeping his head down, waiting for it to stop.”  
  
“Oh geez…” Ryuji muttered. He did not like the sound of the shadow's words. Neither did the others.  
  
“Akira, listen to me.” Makoto said getting him to look at him, “We’re worried about you, and if we don’t steal your treasure, we're afraid you’re going to get worse in the real world. You need to take us to it.”  
  
“But-”  
  
“We know you’re scared, but you have us.” Makoto said, “And we’re never going to leave you. You know that right? He knows that, right?”  
  
The question hung in the air. It was a question they had hoped the shadow would answer right away with the affirmation Akira knew they would stay by him. Instead, silence. A silence that made them all worry.  
  
“He does not believe we’ll stay with him?” Yusuke asked. The shadow did not respond to the question. Haru looked away, closing her eyes. The others looked at each other, then Ryuji shook his head.  
  
“Oh effin’ hell.” Ryuji said, “When we’re done with this I’m making sure he has it drilled into his head we’re not gonna abandon him over something as dumb as not being able to use his persona.” He then looked at the shadow. “So, you gonna take us to his treasure or not?”  
  
“Ryuji, not so harsh,” Ann told him.  
  
“Akira’s shadow, can you take us to the treasure?” Morgana asked, being a little more gentle. “He’s our friend. We want to help him any way we can.”  
  
“Yeah, he’s family too.” Futaba said, “And I won’t just let family fumble and hide away in bed all day. It's not fun, I know, and if I can do something to help him, I will do it.”  
  
“Please, Akira.” Makoto urged one last time. The shadow who looked like their friend looked them over one last time, then looked at the locked door on the other side of the cafeteria. His head tilted like he remembered something.  
  
“I can try and take you there, but you might not like everything you see or hear. And he definitely won’t like you all knowing about it.”  
  
“That’s fine.” Makoto said, “We knew this might happen. We’ll apologize to him once we’re done, and even if he doesn’t forgive us, we can’t just leave him to suffer.”  
  
The shadow nodded and stood up. He crossed the cafeteria room and placed his hand on the locked door. The lock flashed gold and dissolved into dust and he pushed the door open. He then turned to them, the faintest sight of a smirk crossing his face.  
  
“Well, you coming or not?”  
  
The others smiled, for a second the shadow sounded more like the Akira they knew and loved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rumors suck.


	5. Not the Greatest Calm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My head hurts and AO3 is being a pain. If anything looks odd it's probably because my browser crashed and I got too annoyed to fix it (again).

The second floor looked less like a juvenile detention center, and more like a school, but since the shadows on the previous floor were dressed in their school uniforms, none of the Phantom Thieves were surprised. Akira’s shadow led them up the stairs and down the windy hallways, keeping close as though scared to wander too far away from them. The others noticed graffiti on the walls, and could not help but read it. Some of the scrawlings were the rumors the shadows whispered down in their cells. Others they had never heard before.  
  
_Akira Kurusu, you are found guilty of assault._  
  
_You will be sentenced to one year in Juvenile Hall._  
  
_Why did you have to stick your head into other people's business?_  
  
_We’re being sued because of you!_  
  
_Damn brat!_  
  
The words made them all feel uncomfortable and they tried to quicken their pace. The sooner they reached the treasure, the sooner Akira’s nightmare would end.  
  
Unlike the previous floor where the shadows were behind bars, the ones on the current floor wandered freely. However, Makoto noticed right away they all seemed to stand in specific spots and not move from them. Even when they were looking at the thieves the shadows did not give chase. It made it easy to get around and at Futaba’s suggestion, they cut into the library. They were not surprised when they entered to find it was an exact replica of the one in the school. Makoto remembered she and Akira had gone there to study a few times.  
  
_“Wait, he’s actually planning to study?”_  
  
The shadow's eyes widened and he grabbed his head.  
  
_“Why would a punk like him be in the library?”_  
  
_“Is he really going after Niijima-senpai?”_  
  
She also remembered why they stopped studying in the library together. She put a hand on the shadow’s shoulder when he started to pull at his hair. “Easy. It’s okay.”  
  
Ryuji’s slammed his fist on of the table and the noise was so loud they all jumped. “What the hell Ryuji?” Ann shouted. Ryuji winced and shook out his fingers.  
  
“I’m sorry, just, dammit what the hell is wrong with our school?”  
  
“Same as usual that’s what. Filled with gossip mongers who are interested in the latest fake crap.” Ann said.  
  
“It’s awful what people will say about people they don’t know.” Haru said, “Don’t they realize how much they’re hurting others?”  
  
“If they do, they probably don’t care,” Yusuke said as Akira’s shadow walked over to one of the tables and sat down. Makoto joined him, her presence bringing the shadow some comfort. “Unfortunately it’s easy to spread bile about someone when you don’t know them.”  
  
“Pretty much one of many reasons why the internet is not a safe place,” Futaba muttered then looked up and behind them. “Uh, we might have a problem.”  
  
Just as she finished speaking, a loud bell rang through the air, making them cover their ears. “The hell is that?” Ryuji shouted and Yusuke looked out the library window.  
  
“Everyone, get behind something!” He ordered and the others looked to see why. The shadows were moving, one of them was approaching the door. They hurried to hiding places, some getting behind the reception desk and the study booths. Makoto hid with Akira under the table they had been sitting at, Ann and Haru hid under the other.  
  
The door opened and several shadows stepped in. Their footsteps were silent like they were gliding just above the ground. One approached the reception desk, another wandered to the bookshelves. Then after several seconds, it approached the table Makoto and Akira’s Shadow was under and dropped a book on the desk. Another shadow approached and said something that was incoherent gibberish on the group's ears. Ann tilted her head to try and get a look at the shadows, to find they had a humanoid figure but were lacking finer details. They were also not wearing the uniforms of Shujin Academy, instead being dressed in black prison uniforms.  
  
Makoto glanced at Akira’s shadow, holding his hand to help keep him calm. He looked scared, but he was silent. She watched his face and found herself wondering; if the shadow in front of her was ‘the side he did not want them to see’, how much fear and anxiety was he hiding under the surface? How much had he been suffering right in front of her? She felt a sting of guilt, but forced herself not to think about it, not until after they finished their job.  
  
The bell rang again and the shadows stopped what they were doing, leaving the books they had picked up and leaving the library. They shuffled out into the hall and the door closed behind them.  
  
The group waited for a few more seconds before crawling out of their hiding places. Makoto helped Akira to his feet while Ann checked the hall with Morgana. “Looks like they’re gone.” She said. Morgana sighed in relief.  
  
“That was close,” Morgana said as Haru looked at the books left on the tables. They were various sizes, and all had a name on them. She frowned and lifted one up, and read the title.  
  
Haru Okumura, The Friend I made in Space.  
  
“This has my name on it,” Haru said getting all their attention. The book was small and light.  
  
“Hey, this one has mine on it,” Futaba said picking one up. It was a larger than Haru’s, not by much, and out of curiosity Futaba opened it. Writing covered the page, not printed, but instead handwritten. She skimmed it over. “This is about our trip to the beach.” She realized as a sad look crossed her face, “He sounds so happy in this.”  
  
“There’s books about all of us,” Yusuke said looking at the library shelf. “Some are quite impressive in size.”  
  
Makoto joined him at the bookshelf and saw he was right. Ryuji’s was the largest, not a surprise, considering he had known him the longest and they were best friends. Her’s was just a little smaller. She reached up to pull it off the shelf, only for Akira’s shadow to grab her hand and stop her.  
  
“You don’t want to read that.” He said. Makoto looked at him, confused and a little concerned.  
  
“Is there something wrong?”  
  
“Uh, no, but…” The shadow trailed off and looked away, his face bright red. Makoto stared at him, then her eyes widened and her face flushed when the right thought crossed her mind.  
  
“R-right. Uh, Futaba?”  
  
“Can’t believe he wanted Inari to paint the crabs…”  
  
“Futaba!”  
  
The younger girl jumped to attention at Makoto’s voice, the book dropping on the floor. “Is it safe to continue on?” She asked.  
  
“R-right! Checking!” Futaba said, using her Persona’s power to scan the general area, the ground around them taking a green tinge. “Okay, I think we’re good, but we should hurry it up.”  
  
Makoto nodded and brought her attention to Akira’s shadow. “You ready to move on?” She asked. He gave a small nod, showing he was ready to move forward and the group left through the exit and continued on.  
  
They found the stairs to the next floor with ease and climbed up to their destination. The floor felt cool like an attic would, and the air was filled with a light coat of dust. The walls were still covered with words carved on them, and there were stains on the floor. What drew their attention the most was the silence. Not even the sound of the light fixtures could be heard.  
  
There was no danger on the floor, Futaba confirmed it, but they moved at a slower pace just in case something tried to jump at them. Their footsteps did not even echo on the ground, Makoto’s hand unconsciously took ‘Akira’s’ as they made their way through the floor.  
  
“Stop.” He said after some wandering. He pointed to a closed room, the door looking less like that of a prison and more like the entrance of a shop or a cafe. A sign hung over it, showing the words Cafe crossed out and under it ‘Prisoner Room AK.’ “It’s in there.”  
  
Morgana frowned and looked at the map. “But, this is the third floor, the treasures on the fourth.” He said.  
  
“We can only get to the fourth floor from here.” They all looked at each other. Ryuji peered into the room.  
  
“Guys, we should probably check this out.” He said. He opened the door - it was unlocked, a surprise considering the number of locked doors they had encountered - and the group stepped inside.  
  
They recognized the appearance immediately. It was an exact replica of Leblanc. The booths and chairs by the bar were lined the same, the television was on, static on the screen, white noise filled the silent shop. Coffee and curry looked like it was being prepared, but no one was around to handle or serve it. They stepped in and Akira’s shadow pushed himself in front of them, then stopped and stumbled, hand to his head as a familiar voice echoed through the room.  
  
_“Oh right. They did say that was today.”_  
  
“Sojiro?” Futaba said out loud.  
  
_“I got the gist of your situation. You protected some woman from a man forcing himself on her, he got injured, then sued you. Right? That’s what you get for sticking your nose in a matter between two adults.”_  
  
“Whoa, wait he said that?” Ryuji asked. The shadow said nothing as he sat down, keeping his hands on his head and looking at the table. “Did he really say that?”  
  
_“I got an interesting call from your school today. It’s only your first day and you’re already showing up hours late?”_  
  
“It was an accident.” The group looked at the shadow when he answered the question.  
  
“Yeah, that’s what everyone says. Your life’s forfeit if anything happens. You understand the meaning of probation, right?”  
  
The shadow said nothing, but he did react, nodding his head again as though answering. He then gasped and his eyes snapped shut as another voice broke the air, not Sojiro’s, but a man who sounded furious.  
  
“We can’t afford a lawsuit on top of this divorce. We have enough problems as it is without you sticking your head into other people's business!”  
  
Then it became quiet. So quiet the static from the TV became overpowering. Ryuji let an annoyed grumble escape his lips before walking over and turning it off. With it gone another noise broke the silence, the shadow sounded like it was crying.  
  
“Akira?” Makoto asked taking a seat next to him.  
  
He shook his head. “I’m...not okay.” He said then after a pause added, “You’d never hear that from me in the real world. I’m not okay.”  
  
“You hide your pain a lot, don’t you,” Makoto said. “To think I never noticed. I’m so sorry.”  
  
Akira shook his head. “You didn't notice because you weren’t supposed to. He, or I, didn’t want you guys to know about all that.”  
  
“Uh, Akira. Who was that man we just heard? The one that wasn't Boss?” Ann asked and for a second they thought the shadow was not going to answer.  
  
“My dad.” He said.  
  
“He sounded quite angry.” Yusuke said, “I’m assuming by his words this was just after your arrest?”  
  
“Yeah.” He muttered as Morgana jumped onto the table. Futaba and Haru took seats across from them, Ryuji and Ann pulled up some chairs to sit with them. “My parents always had rough patches, but from what I remember they always worked them out. Then sometime before I started high school, something happened. Dad started working late, and sometimes he wouldn’t come home. When he did he was always in a bad mood. If it was ever the three of us at dinner, it was always awkward.”  
  
“And your mother?”  
  
“She...tried.” He said, “She tried to keep the family together, kept telling me what was going on between her and dad was none of my concern and I should just focus on school, but she was miserable around him. I could hear them fighting a lot when I studied in my room.  
  
Then near the end of the year, they asked me to come home early, because they had something important to tell me. That was when I ran into that man and...you know the rest.”  
  
“What did they tell you?” Makoto asked.  
  
Akira’s shadow sighed, like he was reluctant to answer, “They were getting divorced. I guess they wanted me to decide if I wanted to stay in town with mom and continue school or move out with dad.”  
  
“I’m sorry Akira. Going through so much in such a short time must have been difficult for you.” Haru said. Ryuji grumbled under his breath.  
  
“It’s bullshit.” Ryuji said, “They yelled at you over a crime you didn’t commit and acted like it was an inconvenience for their own problems.”  
  
“Maybe,” the shadow said, “but dad got a lawyer who convinced the court to change my sentence and he found me a school to attend. I would have spent a year in juvie instead here if not for him. But even then…the look on his face…it was like he saw the whole thing as an inconvenience.” He trailed off as his voice cracked and stopped talking. The other’s watched him, Makoto wrapped an arm around his shoulder. Haru was the first to speak.  
  
“Akira, we’re sorry we pried and brought up some painful memories, but thank you for opening up to us. You don’t need to be afraid to do that.”  
  
“She’s right. You’ve always been there when we needed someone to lean on, let us be there for you.” Makoto said. The shadow looked hesitant.  
  
“I don’t want to bother you guys with my problems.”  
  
“You wouldn’t be bothering us. We care for you. I love you. And honestly, if you didn’t want us to know about all this, would you have lead us through your palace?”  
  
The shadow was quiet, but the look on his face told them he was thinking of her words. He then smiled. “I guess I wouldn’t have. I did want to tell you guys, just with everything going on, I didn’t want to add my problems to it. Now they’re out of control.”  
  
“They won’t be for long.” Ryuji said, “Once we steal your treasure, we’ll all sit down and have a heart to heart over some curry. You can get everything off your chest, and I promise, we won’t judge you.”  
  
“No matter what, we’re here for you. Never forget that.” Makoto said. The shadow nodded and wiped his eyes on his ragged sleeve.  
  
“Make sure to tell him that in person.” He said then stood up from his seat. “The treasure room is on the next floor.”  
  
“He’s right. I’m definitely picking up readings.” Futaba said.  
  
“I can sense it too,” Morgana confirmed, then paused.  
  
“Akira’s treasure...I wonder what it could be.” Haru said, “  
  
“Only one way to find out,” Ann said getting to her feet.  
  
They did not need to go far, the next floor was a short climb, and because they had been in Cafe Leblanc none of them were surprised to see the ‘prisoner room.’ Akira’s bedroom, looking as clean if somewhat dusty as it did back in the real world. The color was washed out, which made the translucent gold bubble that would become Akira’s treasure stand out more. It was hovering over his bed, as though waiting for them the entire time.  
  
“There it is,” Morgana said jumping onto the bed. “Now, all we need to do is send the calling card and we’ll be good to go.”  
  
“Alright! So when should we send it?” Ryuji asked.  
  
“As soon as possible.” Makoto said then looked at Yusuke. “Would tomorrow be alright?”  
  
Yusuke thought it over, as though trying to remember his schedule for the day, then nodded. “Tomorrow is doable. It’ll require a late night, but I can get the calling card ready by then.”  
  
“Then I’ll get the message written up,” Makoto said, then sighed. “Though I don’t like the idea of calling Akira out like this.”  
  
No one said anything at first, but Ann and Haru’s worried glances were more than enough as was Ryuji shifting on his feet like he was uncomfortable. They were not looking forward to sending the calling card.  
  
“I know and I don’t either,” Morgana said, “but we can’t pull any soft punches. The card has to have the same impact it would on any other person or the treasure might not appear.”  
  
“I know.” Makoto said, “Alright, I’ll put it together and text you guys for feedback. Once we’re sure it’ll work, I’ll send the final version to Yusuke.” She then looked to Akira’s shadow. “Akira, can you stay here in the treasure room? It doesn’t look like shadows come here, so it’ll be safer than the rest of the palace.”  
  
“You want me to guard my own treasure. Sure I’ll stay here.” He told her.  
  
“Alright, let’s get back to the real world and get to work.”  
  
Everyone left one at a time down the stairs except Makoto, who stayed behind. She looked at the gold and clear bubble, then back at Akira’s shadow. She took a few steps closer.  
  
“How’re you feeling?” She asked. The shadow looked at the ground, then the walls before after much reluctance looking at her. “Sorry, dumb questions. You’re Akira’s other self, you’re probably feeling everything he’s trying to keep himself from feeling.”  
  
The shadow gave her a smile, “You’ve always caught on fast Makoto.” He said. He took a few steps and hugged her. “Thank you, for always being there. For worrying about me. I don’t say it enough, but I love you.”  
  
“I love you too,” Makoto said. He stopped hugging her and she took his hands. “I just hate the idea of having to go behind your back to help you.”  
  
“I know.”  
  
Makoto already imagined how Akira would feel when they gave him the calling card. He was going to be upset, it was possible he would be outright angry, but above all, he was going to be hurt. No matter how much she tried to justify it, it did not change the fact they were going behind his back, invading his privacy, and were about to flip his entire mental state on itself. Yet when she thought about him lying in bed, just existing as the days went by, she knew they needed to take action.  
  
She pulled her boyfriend’s shadow in for one last hug, and after some hesitation let go and looked him in the eye. “We have to do this.” She said, her determination coming back to her, “And when we do, then I’ll tell you I’m sorry.”

* * *

  
“You seem to have more energy today.”  
  
Akira looked at her, not sure how to respond to her statement. He was sitting on the sofa, the curtains were open, letting the light touch his face and hair. If Makoto had not messaged him saying she was visiting after school, he would have spent the day lying in bed. Somehow he managed to gather the strength to get up and get dressed. He should have gone a step further and gotten himself clean at the bathhouse, but the thought of leaving the cafe left him nervous, even paranoid. At least he managed to brush his teeth, comb his messy hair, and put on some jeans and a black shirt.  
  
“Do I?” He asked as she placed her book bag down on the floor and sat down next to him.  
  
“You’re sitting up. You’re talking a bit more.” She said putting a hand to his cheek. “You’re skin has more color to it.”  
  
A hint of a smile crossed his face. It did not reach his eyes. “It’s probably that thing Takemi gave me.”  
  
“What did she give you?”  
  
“Some kinda energy supplement. Sojiro made me get my ass out of bed and take it this morning.”  
  
“And it’s working?”  
  
He shrugged, “I feel less tired, that’s about it.”  
  
Feeling less tired meant nothing when all he wanted to do was sleep. He tried reading, but the characters in his book meshed into blurs his jumbled mind found impossible to comprehend. He gave up on reading, tried making lockpicks - his hands did not want to work -, and then walked around his room trying to settle down before she arrived.  
  
He felt miserable, but Makoto looked relieved, even happy, to hear he had been up and about for a few hours - even if he stayed in his room the entire time - so he decided to at least try and pretend to be feeling better around her.  
  
Makoto studied his face, noticing how his eyes became foggy and downcast and knew he was hiding something. She moved her hand from his cheek to his hand, not oblivious to how he flinched at her touch.  
  
“Akira, you know you can tell me anything, right?” She asked.  
  
There was a brief hint of emotion on his face. Some confusion, which he tried to hide behind his failing facade before forcing himself to smile. “Of course. I’d never hide anything from you Makoto.”  
  
Except for his pain. Makoto could not help but notice the sharp contrast between the man in front of her and his shadow, whose voice and body language showed how hurt he was. The Akira in front of her seemed almost numb and robotic. Makoto gave him a small nod and then looked around the room before looking back at him.  
  
“Do you want to do anything?” She asked. He shrugged. “Maybe play a game together? You did promise you’d teach me how to play those retro games.”  
  
Akira shook his head. “Rather just watch something.”  
  
“Anything in particular?”  
  
“Whatever you want to.”  
  
Translation; he did not want to watch anything, but he would sit with her if she wanted to watch something. Makoto turned on the CRTV and went through the pile of DVDs stacked next to it. She looked at the covers - two were passed their due dates - then stopped at one which caught her eye. An American mafia film made in the 1970s. No dub, but it had subtitles.  
  
“How about this one?” She asked showing him the cover.  
  
“Sure.”  
  
Makoto put the DVD on and pressed play when the select screen came up. They decided to watch it on the bed, the mattress being more comfortable than the sofa. Once they sat down Akira wrapped his arm around her waist, before resting his head against her shoulder. “Comfortable?”  
  
“Very.” She said and watched as a weak smile crossed his face. He was trying.  
  
“How was school?”  
  
“Same as always.”  
  
“That’s what Ann said. Ryuji too, though not as eloquent.”  
  
“Really. How did he describe it?” Makoto asked.  
  
“He said,” Akira paused then picked up his smart phone. “‘Today has been a pain in the ass and I’m sure this teacher is out to get me.’”  
  
“Well, maybe he or she wouldn’t if Ryuji studied for once,” Makoto said with a defeated look. Akira chuckled.  
  
“Yeah, but it’s Ryuji. The day he studies is the day people stop talking about me at school.”  
  
“I could drag Ryuji to the student council room and make him do his homework for a change.”  
  
“How do you think that’ll go?”  
  
She thought for a second, “Well most likely I will turn my back for one second and he’ll make a mad dash for the door. He’ll either crash into the door without opening it, or he’ll trip on it and fall in the hallway.” Makoto said with a sigh. “Either way it won’t end well.”  
  
She saw Akira was smiling and they fell into a comfortable silence. He played with her fingers with his free hand and she let her head rest against his. He was trying to keep up appearance, but she could see it was wearing him down.  
  
The movie was a terrible distraction. The subtitles were difficult to read, and even though Makoto’s english was well enough she could get a basic understanding of the plot, the wordplay was so difficult to follow she doubted even Ann could understand it. It reminded her of trying to read the older books in the library, which was only a fun challenge if she was invested in it. She glanced at Akira, who had gone silent as the film went on, his fingers long stopped playing with hers and settled onto her lap. He did not appear to be paying attention, but he looked more relaxed, even sleepy.  
  
She wished today was one of those days where they were hanging out just to hang out. The sound of her phone vibrating reminded her she had another reason for visiting and the noise along with her moving shook Akira out of his stupor.  
  
**Ryuji:**  
_Hey! We’re outside!_  
  
**Ann:**  
_Ready when you are._  
  
Makoto read the texts and covered her phone when she saw Akira was looking at her.  
  
“Just my sister telling me she would be working late again,” Makoto said. She put her phone down on the bed next to his pillow.  
  
“Do you need to go home?”  
  
“No, not right now.” She said. “Unless you want me too.”  
  
He shook his head, “I want you to stay.” He said and Makoto noticed his voice had become flat.  
  
“If you want I can stay over tonight.” She suggested.  
  
“What about school?” He asked looking at her.  
  
“There’s no classes, tomorrow is Sunday.” She said. Akira stared at her, then sighed and fell silent, turning his attention back to the movie. “Akira I-”  
  
“Please stay,” Akira said, and Makoto was silent as she heard his voice break a little. She nodded, wrapping an arm around him.  
  
“Of course I’ll stay.”  
  
Her phone went off again and she sighed and looked at it.  
  
**Futaba:**  
_Any time now..._  
  
**Ryuji:**  
_Any day now Makoto!_  
  
**Futaba:**  
_Hey! I said I’d text her!_  
  
She glared at her phone and put it on silent. “Sister again?” Akira asked, not even looking at her.  
  
“Yes. Telling me the usual, not to stay up too late, make sure all my homework is done, and a new one; ‘be careful around my boyfriend, you know how teenagers can be.’” She sighed and looked at him, “She’s not wrong you know.”  
  
A small laugh, “Hey, you’re worse than I am, Ms ‘want to study things we don’t have experience in yet?’” Akira said.  
  
“W-well, you…” She started then stopped, giving up before she could even try to defend herself. Another chuckle, but whatever joy Akira was getting at her expense had faded as his confident tone became depressed and exhausted.  
  
He was trying to seem okay for her. She laid her head against him as she tried to watch the movie a little longer. However, after a while, she glanced at her phone. Ten minutes had passed since she put it on silent. If she did not act now she probably would lose her nerves and it would be a wasted day. She needed to make her move now. She placed her phone on the bed and moved her arm to get Akira's attention.  
  
“Sorry, I need to use the restroom.” She said and Akira nodded and let go of her. She got up, took a few steps and stopped. She then took a deep breath and turned to him. “Akira. I love you.”  
  
He stared at her, confused, “I love you too.” He said.  
  
“I know. I care about you just as much as you care about me. And everyone else, Ryuji, Futaba, everyone, they care about you too.” She reached into her pocket and pulled out a white envelope. “That’s why we made this.”  
  
She held the envelope out and after some hesitation Akira took it. He looked it over. There was nothing on it, it was just a white envelope. “When I go downstairs, I want you to read this, and I want you to remember, regardless of how you feel, this is not a betrayal.”  
  
“Betrayal?” He asked, “What are you-”  
  
He was cut off by Makoto leaning into his personal space and kissing him. The sudden movement startled him, but his eyes closed as he felt her lips against his, and the cool air when she pulled away. “Please, read it Akira. And I’m sorry.”  
  
Before Akira could say anything, Makoto turned on her heels and hurried down the stairs. He stared at the envelope in his hand, confused, as he ran his fingers over it. There was nothing on it, but he could feel something small inside, like a letter.  
  
His mind went to the worst possible conclusion, drudging up something Ryuji had said a few days ago, but he shook the thought out of his mind. Makoto was a forward person, if she wanted to break up with him she would say it, not give him a letter and run away. That thought did not easy anxieties just even thinking about it being possible left him shaking.  
  
He broke the seal of the envelope and pulled out its contents. His eyes widened as he found himself looking at a red and black postcard, and when he saw the logo sketched on it, he felt like he was going to be sick. He took a breath and flipped the card over, and read it out loud.  
  
_“Akira Kurusu, prideful leader of the Phantom Thieves._  
  
_We have witnessed your fall to despair firsthand, your strength_ broken _by the sins the world has cast upon your shoulders. Thus we will steal your distorted desires without fail, and free you from your suffering._  
  
_Signed,_  
  
_The Phantom Thieves.”_  
  
Akira stared at the card, unsure what to make of it. He wanted to laugh, to think maybe his friends were pulling some kind of prank, but the tightness in his chest told him the truth. It was real. He was holding a calling card his own friends had made for him. His own girlfriend had given him. His breathing quickened, panic rushing over him, his ears ringings and he covered them as the alarm bells in his brain went off.  
  
_“I-I'm scared!”_  
  
His mind was reeling of incomprehensible thoughts until it was screaming one thing. One thing. Stop them. He needed to stop them. He hurried to his feet, then his foot slipped and he fell on the floor, the crash echoing in his room. He groaned as he forced himself back to his feet, trying to ignore the pain that shot through his knee, and limped down the stairs.  
  
No one was in the cafe, not even Sojiro, and the sign on the door was flipped to closed. They had all been in the cafe waiting for Makoto to give him the calling card. He shook his head, he was too late, he couldn't stop them.  
  
Then he remembered Makoto left her phone on his bed. He limped back upstairs and saw it lying near his pillow. He stumbled onto the mattress and picked it up. His hands were still shaking, his eyes were wide, as he unlocked her phone - not hard, he knew her password - and tapped on the metanav app. When it opened he went to hear search history, tears forming in his eyes as he saw the most recent search.  
  
_Akira Kurusu, Cafe Leblanc, Juvenile Hall._  
  
Tears streamed down his face and he laid down, curling up on his mattress. It was right in front him. How long had she and his friends known? He cried for a little while, then forced himself to sit up and looked at the app. He took a shaky breath and selected his name and pressed confirm, then closed his eyes as he heard the automated voice and felt himself be pulled from the world.  
  
_“Beginning Navigation.”_


	6. Worth Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have another long day today so here's the next chapter a little earlier than I planned. Enjoy!

The alarms in the juvenile hall blared as the Phantom Thieves rushed through the building. There was an alert for all prisoners to return to their cells. Shadows reached out behind the bars for the group, but went ignored as they hurried to the next floor. As they rushed, they were spotted by a shadow acting as a security guard. Yusuke took the lead, dodging it as it tried to attack, grabbed it by the head and ripped off its mask. The other’s followed up; Ryuji called his Persona to deal heavy physical damage, then Haru, calling Mi’lady to finish one of them off with Psiodyne. Makoto finished another with a well-aimed punch and roundhouse kick, as Morgana took down the last with Garudyne.  
  
They tried to avoid combat when they could, knowing it would slow them down. They needed to hurry to the treasure room and secure the treasure, then get back to the real world to check on Akira. They reached the third floor in little time and hurried to prisoner room AK.  
  
“There it is!” Ann shouted, the first to see it.  
  
“Almost there. Come on, let’s hurry.” Makoto told them. Akira’s shadow was waiting for them. They entered the cafe and climbed the stairs to the attic, then stopped short as she entered the room. Ryuji bumped into her and Ann and all three of them crashed onto the floor.  
  
“Argh, what the hell?”” Ryuji asked as he pulled himself off the floor and looked up. “Whoa, what the hell?”  
  
The room, originally set up like Akira’s in the real world, had devolved into a mess. The desk and table were overturned, the mattress and sheets were toppled over, and a large hole had been blasted through the wall. The treasure was nowhere in sight, neither was the shadow.  
  
“What happened here?” Haru asked.  
  
“It appears we’ve had an upset,” Yusuke said. He looked around the room. “This is not good, did the shadow deceive us?”  
  
“I don’t think so.” Morgana said, “But something is up. Maybe we tripped something when we sent the calling card?”  
  
Makoto took in the sight of the room and wondered if she said something that might complicate their mission. She stepped forward putting her hand to the wall and peering through the new passage. It was dark, except for what looked like a small light hanging from the ceiling, or what she thought was a ceiling. She looked down, it was so dark she was not even sure there there was a floor below her. However she needed to take a risk, wherever the treasure and Akira’s shadow were, they had to be up ahead.  
  
Keeping her hand on the wall she stepped forward and her foot touched solid ground. She took another step, again solid and as her eyes adjusted to the darkness she realized she was standing in the middle of a street. The light she thought was on the ceiling was a street light. She turned to the rest of the group.  
  
“Let’s go.” She said starting down the street. The others followed looking around as the streets became more lit and buildings on the sides of the road began to take form in the distortion. They looked older, more traditional, compared to the modern buildings in Shibuya.  
  
“Where are we?” Ann asked.  
  
“This looks like a town in the outskirts,” Haru said. “Didn’t Akira mention being from a small town? Maybe this is where he’s from.”  
  
“I do recall him mentioning it before,” Yusuke said. Makoto nodded, she remembered Akira mentioning being from the countryside, but he never told her much about his hometown. She looked at Morgana and Futaba.

“Can either of you sense the treasure?” She asked. Morgana pointed forward.  
  
“Down the street. We should hurry in case it moves again.”  
  
“I swear if that shadow lied to us…” Ryuji started, annoyed, but cut himself off as they ran down the street. Again voices filled the area, this time the buildings distorting around them.  
  
_“Just get in the car.”_ Said a voice that sounded somewhat familiar to all of them.  
  
_“Help!”_  
  
_“I-I’ll call the po_ lice.”  
  
_“The police?”_ A sick laugh. _“The police are my bitches, they’d never listen to a skank like you. Now hurry up and get in the car!”_  
  
They reached the car in question, however, there were no man and woman arguing. Only Akira’s shadow was present, standing in the street, looking at the vehicle. The distortion was heavy and he turned to face them, his bright yellow eyes glowing in the darkness. Makoto noticed he was holding a small gold box in his hands.  
  
“Akira, is that the treasure?” Makoto asked. He looked down at it, then back at the group. He took a step back when Makoto took a step forward. “Akira, it’s okay. We’re here to help remember? Just give us the treasure and then everything will-”  
  
He shook his head, “No, don’t come any closer.” He said and winced as he held his hand to his head. The distortion warped around them, the wind kicking up sounding like a scream in the air. “Something’s not right...”  
  
His words were confusing and to the others made little sense. “Not right? Akira, what’s wrong?” Makoto asked. She again took another step, but this time when Akira stepped back the street behind him distorted and a dark silhouette formed behind him. Not hesitating it grabbed the shadow restraining him and placed a gun to his head.  
  
The group froze, Ryuji swearing, as they recognized the being that had formed. A long black jacket, bright red gloves that stood out in the darkness, and a white mask that hid his eyes and contrasted with his dark hair.  
  
“Joker?” The name escaped her lips before she could stop herself from speaking. He looked at the shadow which was now his hostage than to the group in front of him. His eyes had a glazed look, one of defeat, and resignation.  
  
_“You heard him Makoto. Don’t come any closer.”_ He said moving his arm to bring their attention to the weapon pointed at the shadow's head.

* * *

  
The sirens in his ears made Akira’s head hurt, and he could hear his heart beating in his chest as he climbed the stairs. His steps were heavy and slow, it felt like weights had been strapped to his ankles. However he kept moving, there was still some part of him with enough fight in it to tell him to keep going. To find the others.  
  
He had no idea what he would do when he found them, all he knew was he needed to.  
  
The shadows present had either not noticed him or decided he was not worth paying attention too. So once he reached the third floor, he let his guard drop for one moment and leaned against the wall. A juvenile detention center. Juvenile Hall. The world inside his heart was a prison, a perfect reflection of his reality.  
  
He covered his ears as his moment of reprieve was interrupted by another set of voices screaming at him.  
  
_“This suit, we can’t afford this!”_  
  
_“We’re going through a divorce and you just had to stick your nose into adult business!”_  
  
His mother and father. He remembered the night after his parents brought him home from the police station. It was hard to forget. His mother had been crying. His father had been angry.  
  
_“We’re parents of a criminal. Do you have any idea how much your mess could compromise my job? I was lined up for a promotion. When word of this gets out, I will be passed over!”_  
  
_“Oh god, what’s the school going to say?”_  
  
Akira could feel his body shaking, and he hugged himself trying to ignore the screams. They died down, and with them the feelings of anger and guilt he had felt that night. He could not just stand by and do nothing when he saw the scene. He had done the right thing and gotten screwed over and branded an outcast by everyone around him. His father hated him. His school - old and new - wanted nothing to do with him. He made his mother cry.  
  
Akira gasped as he tried to move and his vision bubbled around him. He felt off balance, panic and feelings of dread climbing through him. He wanted to curl up on the floor and just wait for the world to leave him alone.

_Why did you come here? You'll only get in the way._

_You shouldn't be here._

He shook his head and forced himself to stay standing. If he sunk onto the ground he knew he was not going to move again. He looked down at the floor as he tried to keep his balance, and so he did not need to look at the graffiti decorating the halls.  
  
After a little longer, he started to walk again, hugging the wall. He knew where he was going, and knowing that felt strange to him since it was his first time in his own heart. Must have been because it was his own distorted desires.  
  
He found a familiar door and opened it to find himself inside Leblanc. The sight made him feel light headed, but he forced himself to keep moving, taking the stairs to his room. It was a mess, like his head, a large hole in the wall.  
  
His chest felt tight from his growing anxiety, but he needed to keep moving. So he continued on, his feet touching cold pavement.

* * *

  
“Joker?” Makoto stared at the newcomer in front of them, struggling to believe what she was seeing. The others were the same, all shocked into silence by the presence of their leader. “How are you- Why are you-?”  
  
“Wait, that’s not the real one.” Morgana cut her off, “It’s a cognition. Like the voices we’ve been hearing in the building.”  
  
“So it’s just another part of Akira’s heart?” Ryuji asked, getting a small, forced, chuckle out of the cognition in front of them.  
  
_“Well, aren’t you a smart one.”_ He said, his voice flat, but increased in intensity when they tried to get closer, _“Uh, uh, you come any closer-”_ he tightened his grip on the shadow. _“I don’t think we need a reminder of what happens when someone’s shadow is destroyed, right?”_  
  
“Whoa wait,” Ryuji started then looked at the others, “He can’t be serious. Can he?”  
  
Morgana watched Joker’s movements, uneasy by his words, and unsure what to say as he saw the distortion around become erratic.  
  
“Easy Akira, there’s no need to be so drastic,” Ann said, holding her hands up keeping her voice calm. Makoto watched and did the same thing.  
  
“She’s right. Please, let your shadow go, we’re just here to help.” Makoto told him watching his movements. He kept still, his hand unmoving.  
  
_“Help?”_ Joker repeated his tone flat. Makoto could hear a hint of annoyance as well as another emotion she never thought she would hear in Akira’s voice. Hopelessness. He shook his head, _“You broke_ into _my heart, went behind my back invading my privacy, and now you claim you’re helping me? That sounds hypocritical, doesn’t it?”_  
  
The question hung in the air until Joker tilted his head, then lifted the arm with the pistol away from the shadow to point behind the others. _“Maybe we should ask what he thinks.”_ He said drawing their attention to another person in the room. Another Akira, who hobbled down the street, stopping just a few feet away from them. He was gasping for breath.  
  
“Another Akira?” Ann asked and Morgana’s eyes widened.  
  
“No, that’s the real one! Oh, this is not good.” He said as Akira got closer to them before losing what strength he had and collapsing on his knees.  
  
“Akira!” Makoto cried out, ready to rush to him only to stop when she remembered the cognitive version of Joker holding Akira’s shadow hostage. She turned to him and saw he had his pistol back to the shadows head. Then to her surprise, he nodded. Makoto waited to see if he would make another move, but after a few seconds made her way to Akira and knelt down next to him.  
  
“Akira, are you okay?” She asked knowing the answer but feeling the need to say something just to get his attention. She pushed her mask up to her hairline so he could get a good look at her face and when he did look up, he was pale, his eyes bloodshot. The exhaustion, both physical and mental, was clear on his face, the circles under his eyes more prominent than ever.  
  
She remembered Morgana mentioning a few months back how it was bad for a person to enter their own palace. He never explained why, but as the area distorted harshly again and she saw the look on Akira’s face she had an idea why.  
  
Keeping her voice calm and comforting, Makoto reached out to put a hand on his shoulder. “Akira, listen, everything is going to be-”  
  
He pushed her hand away from him and looked back down, wrapping his arms around himself. The gesture hurt, but she kept herself steady for his sake. Then he spoke.  
  
“W-why?”  
  
It was a simple question, but Makoto froze at it. “What?”  
  
“I told you, I was fine!” He said his voice cracking. “Why are you doing this?”  
  
_“Yes. Why? Why are you here? Why are you all getting involved in something that isn’t your business?”_ The voice of ‘Joker’ got her attention and she looked at him. He sounded angry and hurt.  
  
“We did it because-” Ryuji started to yell, then stopped, rethought his actions, and turned to Akira behind them. He then spoke again, this time quieter, “We did it because you’re our friend.”  
  
“We’ve been worried because you haven’t been acting like yourself.” Ann said, “So, we thought-”  
  
_“Thought what?”_ ‘Joker’ spoke up cutting her off, _“That you could help me? That you could save me? Change my heart like you changed hers and make everything better?”_ He motioned to Futaba and then let out a weak chuckle, “You’re wrong.”  
  
The others stared at him, “We’re wrong?” Yusuke repeated, confused.  
  
_“I’m not worth saving._ Leader _of the Phantom Thieves, but no persona? No way to fight, can’t even think of the keyword for our target. It’s not like I had anything else to do, I mean I am dead, I should have figured it out by now.”_ He shrugged, _“Changing my heart won’t fix anything. You’re wasting your time.”_  
  
Wasting their time. The statement stood out to them.  
  
“Is this what you’re really thinking Akira?” Haru asked. Akira said nothing.  
  
“Bullshit!” Ryuji shouted at the cognition, “Why don’t you do us a favor and shut the hell up! You have no idea what you’re talking about!”  
  
Joker stared at him, then let a sneer cross his face. _“I don’t know what I’m talking about? Well, maybe we should ask him. Hey, Akira! Me! Is Ryuji right? Am I just spouting bullshit?”_  
  
Akira stayed silent.  
  
_“Or am I telling the truth? That you feel worthless. I mean I can't blame you.”_ The cognition said tilting his head as though musing to himself, _“You tried as hard as you could to keep together after your interrogation, but then in one moment of weakness you lost everything. Everything that made you believe you could do something with yourself even as the world left you behind._  
  
_But, wow, was it hard to keep it together. Those days and nights, in the face of expulsion or being rearrested; the nightmares you had of what could happen to Makoto or Futaba if you didn’t change a heart in time. You kept a straight face on the outside, but it didn’t change that fact your nerves unraveled every time the deadline approached._  
  
_After all, what would happen if something went wrong? You said everything would be fine, but on the inside, you were a nervous wreck.”_  
  
“Shut up!” Ryuji yelled. Joker ignored him and kept talking.  
  
_“And then there’s this little thing you never told them. The plan to catch our dear traitor? Yes, what would have happened if the drugs didn’t start wearing off in time?”_ He asked. He took in the shocked expressions of the others before going on. “ _You wonder about that even though you try to tell yourself it’s over. You still dream about the beatings. You still think about how if those drugs were just a little stronger, or they gave you that other shot, you’d be dead by now. It keeps you up at night, doesn’t it? But no they can’t find out. It’d be bad if they knew you didn’t remember the plan. They might think less of their worthless leader.”_  
  
“I said shut up you son of a bitch!” Ryuji screamed and the only thing that kept him from rushing right over to Joker and slugging him was Yusuke restraining him. “Dammit! Let me go!”  
  
“Do not forget his threat,” Yusuke said, keeping his grip on Ryuji as tight as he could, and reminding them all of the fact the cognition was still holding Akira’s shadow hostage.  
  
“But, there’s no way he could carry it out.” Ann said as she looked at Morgana, “Is there?”  
  
“I don’t know. I’ve never seen this before.” Morgana said, uneasy, even nervous. “But the distortion in Akira’s heart is out of control, we can’t take any chances.”  
  
“Then what do we do? We’re at a standstill.” Futaba said.  
  
“I don’t know!”  
  
Makoto turned away from Joker and brought her full attention back to Akira, who had not looked up. She could see drops of water dripping onto the pavement. “Akira, is this how you truly feel?”  
  
The question hung in the air as Akira sounded like he was trying to regain his composure. He looked up at her, his tears sticking to his cheeks. Makoto reached out to him again, and this time he did not push her hand away. She placed it to his cheek, not caring about the wetness and then without hesitation wrapped her other arm around him and pulled him into a hug. Makoto felt him tense up, and then relax as he collapsed against her, burying his face in his shoulder, sobbing.  
  
Makoto ran her fingers through his hair, and the others surrounded them. Futaba and Ryuji crouched down next to them as Akira lifted his head and took a deep breath. He looked a little more steady, but not by much.  
  
“Better?” Makoto asked. Akira shook his head and it took a little longer for him to find his voice. When he finally did speak, his voice was hoarse and tired.  
  
“Why are you guys doing this?” He asked.  
  
“I think that answer should be obvious,” Futaba said. He looked at her, not understanding.  
  
“Dude, I just told you, you're our friend.” Ryuji said, “Why wouldn’t we help you when you needed it?”  
  
“Even though you know what me having a palace means?” Akira asked. Makoto broke the hug to look him in the eyes.  
  
“You knew the whole time didn’t you,” Makoto said. “That you lost your powers.”  
  
“How could I not?” Akira asked, “My Persona gave me more than I could even imagine. I felt like I was something and with it, we could reform society, help people in need. Do what the police and others were too incompetent or corrupt to do. Having that strength, and you all by my side, it made getting through each day easier, especially at school.” He sighed, “But when I lost it, it felt like my world stopped, then crashed.”  
  
“All the stress of the year just hit you,” Morgana said. “Our plan may have worked but it was the catalyst that lead to this.”  
  
Akira did not confirm or deny Morgana’s statement, but they all knew it was true. “Without my Persona, I can’t fight, let alone lead the Phantom Thieves. And the real world just feels much harder to get around. It’s hard to get up, to even think of what the day will bring.” Akira said then gave a dark chuckle looking at the Joker across from him. The others followed his gaze then looked back at them, and the connection clicked. “Maybe the voice in the back of my head is right after all. I’m not worth saving.”  
  
“No! Don’t even think that.” Haru said, “You are worth saving!”  
  
“Losing your persona doesn’t change anything.” Futaba said, “So what if you went from PC and NPC, you're still our leader. You can just boss the field team around from Necronomicon with me.”  
  
“A tactless way to put it.” Yusuke started getting Futaba to jump up.  
  
“Inari you finish that sentence-”  
  
“But you are not wrong.” Yusuke finished, a smile on his face. Futaba’s mouth hung open. “Your place is with us Akira, this does not change how we feel about you.”  
  
“You’re still our leader and more importantly our friend. And I’d be totally okay with you bossing me around over Futaba anyway.” Ann said. Futaba glared at her.  
  
“I’ll remember that when giving out buffs.”  
  
“As for the real world, trust me, dude, I get ya. It’s rough out there.” Ryuji said, “But remember you have us. You ever need a shoulder to lean on, or just need to vent, just text or give us a call.”  
  
_“Wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience.”_ ‘Joker’ muttered. Ryuji turned to him.  
  
“You can shut up now!” He yelled at him before turning back to Akira, “Seriously, don’t listen to that guy. Well, technically he’s you, but...what I’m saying is, don’t listen to him. Needing a shoulder to lean on is not an inconvenience or any shit like that.”  
  
“You can talk to us about anything Akira. Doesn’t matter what it is, we’d never judge you.” Haru said  
  
“They’re right.” Makoto said, “Akira, we love you, and we’d never abandon you when you’re in need. We’ll always be here for you. But you need to let us in, no more telling us you’re okay when you’re obviously not. Alright?”  
  
Akira stared at them almost like he had been slapped across the face, but he then looked down at the ground. He took a deep breath, and he could feel his racing thoughts beginning to slow down. He could feel his mental world becoming a little more stable, and with it, he felt more grounded than he had in days.  
  
His friends were with him. Even after he lost himself, they were still there, trying to help him get him back on his feet. He just needed to let them help him. He glanced back up at his friends and girlfriend and let a smile cross his face.  
  
“You guys are the greatest.” He told them then looked at the cognition in front of them, still holding the yellow-eyed version of him hostage. It was sneering, but Akira found himself focusing more on the version of himself being held at gunpoint. It was a part of him, that much he could figure out on his own, but there was a familiarity to it he could not quite place. He stood up, Makoto and Ryuji helping him up and kept his gaze on the scene in front of them. “Probably not a good idea to be holding that to his head.”  
  
The cognition sneered at him and Akira took a shaky step forward and it moved back, pushing the gun to the shadow’s head. _“Don’t come any closer!”_ He said. Akira took another step forward, _“Make one more move and I’ll-”_  
  
“What? You’ll pull the trigger?” Akira asked. When the cognition did not answer him a smirk formed on his face. “No, you won’t. This world is my heart, and you’re a part of it; part of me. You’re the little voice inside my head that keeps telling me to give up. That what we’ve been doing the past few months has been for nothing. That I’m worthless because I couldn’t come up with some damn keywords for a wannabe politician.

So I know when you say you’ll pull that trigger you’re bluffing!”  
  
He took another step forward and the cognition changed his target from the shadow to Akira himself. He still did not pull the trigger. He would not pull it, Akira was positive, so he walked up to the cognition, placed his hand around the Joker’s and with little effort pulled the gun away from him. The gesture made the cognition lose his grip on the shadow who then stepped away, giving Akira an opening. He punched the cognition in the face, making him stumble back and drop down on his knees, hand over his jaw.  
  
“Now.” Akira said getting his attention, “You’re going to leave me alone.”  
  
_“You really think you’re friends will stand by you?”_ The cognition asked, anger in its voice, _“You_ were betrayed _twice already, three times if you count your parents.”_  
  
“My mom begged my dad to do everything he could to keep me out of juvie. And he did.” Akira said, “I wish they had trusted me more, and I feel bad I put an extra burden on them, but at least it felt like they gave me a chance. And my friends...” He looked at them and smiled, “I have no reason to doubt them. Not after they did all this.”  
  
The cognition glared at Akira at first, but after a few seconds sighed and shook its head. _“You really are a fool.”_  
  
“And you’re a voice in my head that needs to stop talking.” Akira said lifting the pistol he had just taken and aimed at the cognition, “So please, just leave me alone. I have a monster to catch back in the real world and I don’t need you getting in my way.”  
  
He put his finger on the trigger, but Akira did not even have to fire. The cognition stared at him, then closed its eyes and lowered its head. Then in a flash of light, it vanished. The distortion in the area calmed, leaving Akira and the other Phantom Thieves alone on the street. Except for one other figure and upon hearing them clap their hands together they all turned their attention to Akira’s shadow.  
  
“Well, that was a performance.” He said, a grin on his face. Ryuji was the first to speak.  
  
“Yeah uh, actually what just happened?” He asked.  
  
“I think, our leader literally talked his inner turmoil into surrendering.” Futaba said, “It takes a lot to be able to do that.”  
  
Akira sighed, Futaba was right, but he felt relieved now that his head felt a bit quieter. His attention was then drawn to the shadow, who approached him, golden box in hand. “You worried me for a bit. When you lost your way I thought this was the end of our contract. Yet here you are.” It handed the box to Akira, who took it and looked it over.  
  
“This is my treasure,” Akira asked then and looked at Morgana. “Is it a good idea for me to have this?”  
  
“Well, that thing is the reason we came here, so it should be fine,” Morgana said, a smile on his face. Akira nodded and looked back at the shadow. His shadow.  
  
“So, you’re me aren’t you,” Akira said. It was not a question. “You don’t seem as bad as all the others.”  
  
The shadow shrugged. “You never denied me, you just stumbled. And yet here you are,” He said holding out his hand. Akira stared at the hand and after some hesitation took it. It was warm and Akira winced as he felt a familiar power rush through him as he looked back at the shadow. “I think the next time we fight, we’ll be stronger than ever.”  
  
Akira was not sure what the shadow meant at first, but his eyes widened as his other self burst into blue flames and rushed over him. He shut his eyes, then opened them to find his hands covered in red gloves and instead of his regular clothes he was in his familiar thief gear. He brought his hands up to his face and felt a calmness run over him as he felt his mask. He closed his eyes and searched through his mind. He could sense Arsene, along with his other Personae.  
  
“Joker!” Makoto’s voice got his attention, nearly making him jump out of his skin and he turned in time to feel her pull him into a hug. His friends surrounded him, Ryuji giving him a light punch in the shoulder as Yusuke put a hand on his shoulder and Futaba tried to worm her way in to give him a hug of her own. He looked at each of them. Then he smiled.  
  
“Let’s go home.” He said as the buildings began to vanish and the palace began to crumble.


	7. Treasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's done! Now to vanish for several weeks to work on more stuff.

Akira felt exhausted, but he knew right away it was a different kind of exhaustion than what he had felt over the last several days. His shoulders did not feel as heavy, his chest did not feel as tight, the empty feeling he had been experiencing was gone. He felt relief, like he had just stepped out of the medicinal bath at the bathhouse, which reminded him that he was in desperate need of a nice bath.  
  
Once they returned to the real world they all decided to go back up to Akira’s room. Climbing the stairs hurt a bit, and he assured and explained to his friends it was because he slipped on the floor earlier. Makoto had him sit down on the bed, then sat next to him, and rolled up his pants leg to check his ankle. She saw some slight swelling, but he didn’t wince when she placed her fingers to his ankle.  
  
“I don’t think it’s serious.” Makoto concluded, “Should be fine with some rest.”  
  
“Hope so. Rather not be more of a regular at the clinic than I already am.” Akira said. Makoto studied his face as he spoke and saw despite looking worn out, his tone had more life to it. His face was more animated. His complexion was healthier.  
  
He noticed her gaze and the rest of his friends looking at him. They were all sitting on the sofa, or in chairs, except Morgana who was standing on the bed near Makoto. Everyone had become quiet, and he could tell they wanted to say something but weren’t sure what to say or how to say it. After a few more awkward seconds, Akira decided he needed to break the silence. “Thank you.” He said.  
  
From the looks on his friend's faces, he guessed his words were the last thing they were expecting. Ryuji was the first to break the silence.  
  
“Ah just doing what friends do,” Ryuji said, giving a small and somewhat forced laugh.  
  
“Yeah, I don’t think most friends can go into their friend's heart. Which reminds me, Makoto,” Akira said a small smirk on his face as he held up his girlfriend's phone, “you forgot this. I didn’t see any texts from your sister.”  
  
Makoto felt the blood rush to her face as she took her phone out of his hands. “Oh, so that’s how…” She trailed off then sighed, “I’m sorry for lying to you.”  
  
“Yeah, I hope you aren’t too mad that we kinda definitely invaded your privacy,” Ann said.  
  
Akira thought it over, moving his leg to he could rest on of his arms on his knee. “I feel like I should, but I’m not. It’s weird, I’m not upset, I actually feel kinda relieved.” Akira said. He yawned, covering his mouth with his hand. “Just don’t do it again. No doing what Morgana does and try snooping through my diary when you don’t think I’m looking.”  
  
“I-I don’t snoop, I just conveniently notice what you’re writing in it.” Morgana protested. Akira rolled his eyes and Futaba’s doubled in size.  
  
“Seriously Mona?” She asked, “You of all people should know better than to go through a man or woman’s private book.”  
  
“I-I swear I don’t look at it when he’s not writing in it!”  
  
“It’s the same thing!”  
  
Akira grinned and laughed a little, the tension and uncertainty breaking in the room and becoming more relaxed as Makoto and the others joined him. Except for Morgana, whose ears drooped as he grumbled something in frustration. The room calmed a little and Makoto’s eyes widened as she realized in the haste to get upstairs and Akira in bed they had forgotten about something.  
  
“By the way, the treasure?” Makoto asked. It took Akira a few seconds to remember what she was talking about.  
  
“Oh. Right.” Akira said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out the small box. It was no longer gold, it had changed to black and instead of being square like a treasure chase, it was longer, more rectangular and with rounded edges.  
  
“Wait,” Futaba said recognizing the design, “Is that a glasses case?”  
  
Akira opened it up and was not surprised by the contents. He pulled out a pair of glasses, snapped in half, the lenses scratched. He took his off and held them up to his eyes for a brief second and confirmed they were so scratched and dirty it would be impossible to see with them.  
  
“Such a strange and simple treasure,” Yusuke said.  
  
“Yeah. Don’t you wear glasses because you’re nearsighted? Why would they be the source of your distortion?” Ann asked.  
  
Akira put the broken glasses back in the case and closed it, then put his usual pair back on. He already knew the answer, “Because they would make it easier to hide myself.” He said. He saw his friends looked confused and let out a breath. “Remember when we went to the beach and I wore contacts instead? Well, that’s what I always used to wear, but after my arrest, mom told me to start wearing glasses again. ‘A kid that wearing glasses doesn’t look as scary as someone who doesn’t.’ It sounded like a good idea at the time.”  
  
“Well, it didn’t work,” Ryuji said and Akira nodded, and gave a bitter chuckle.  
  
“Yeah wearing glasses ‘just for fashion,’ hasn’t reached my hometown yet.’” He said, “Those days were crazy.”  
  
“I’m sorry Akira.” Haru said, “You told us things were rough after your conviction, but we didn’t realize how bad they were.”  
  
“I never planned to tell you guys about the divorce,” Akira said. He moved a little so he could lay down on the bed. He let his hand rest on his chest, he could feel the slight bump from his scar.  
  
“Why not?” Morgana asked.  
  
“Didn’t think it was important and it’s not like saying something would change it. When I go back home, I’m still going to have to choose between living with mom or dad. If they haven’t picked for me…”  
  
“Has the divorce been finalized already?” Ann asked.  
  
“Don’t know,” Akira muttered. His eyes were starting to feel heavy. “I haven’t talked to them since I came to Shibuya. Either no time or when I’ve had time I’ve just been too nervous to call. Not like they haven't tried to call me or anything.”  
  
“If they haven’t it’s quite awful of them not to,” Yusuke said, a frown on his face. The others nodded in agreement. Akira frowned.  
  
“I guess. But mom she...the lawsuit devastated her. And she was crying when I went onto the train for Shibuya. Dad’s a hardass so I’m not surprised I haven’t heard anything from him, but mom she...” Akira sighed and closed his eyes. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t wanna bother her, or a part of me is scared dad will pick up the phone.”  
  
“Maybe you should take that risk.” Makoto said, “It could be she hasn’t called for the same reason you haven’t called her.”  
  
“Mmm...maybe…” He muttered then fell quiet. The others waited for a moment. Akira did not say anything else and Ryuji raised an eyebrow when noticing he was still.  
  
“Uh, buddy, you still there?” He asked. Silence. Makoto leaned closer, concerned, then noticed not only were his eyes closed, but his breathing was heavy and rhythmic. She looked at the others, perplexed.  
  
“Uh, I think he fell asleep on us.” She said. The group stared at their leader and then Ann let out a small laugh.  
  
“Can’t say I’m surprised, it’s been a long day.” She said. Makoto reached over and gave Akira a light shake. He grunted and forced himself to open his eyes. He looked right at her and after a few seconds of blinking and trying to make sense of his surroundings, they snapped open again and he sat up.  
  
“Sorry.” He said, face a little red.  
  
Makoto laughed a little. “It's fine.”  
  
“I think it’s time we called it a night,” Ryuji said, stretching and yawning. “Seeing you conk out like that makes me wanna go to bed.”  
  
“It is getting late,” Haru said checking the time. “Are we going to meet up tomorrow?”  
  
“Well of course. We have to celebrate this.”  
  
Akira looked confused, “Celebrate what?”  
  
“Celebrate your recovery, what else?” Morgana said, “We should all meet up here tomorrow and do something special.”  
  
“Long as it’s in the afternoon. Tomorrow’s Sunday, I wanna to sleep in.” Ryuji said.  
  
“Yes please, sleeping in on a Sunday is the best,” Ann muttered.  
  
“Afternoon is perfect. I was hoping to finish some sketches in the morning.” Yusuke said.  
  
“I have a morning meeting, so I won’t be free until lunch,” Haru said, then grinned as an idea formed in her head. “I know, why don’t I bring lunch over? We just finalized the new seasonal cosmic burger. I can bring some for you to try!”  
  
Ryuji grinned and said, “Yes please!”  
  
“Haru you don't have to-” Ann started but was cut off when Akira raised a hand up.  
  
“I want a large.” He said.  
  
“You sure?” Haru asked. “The medium is larger than normal, and the large is massive.”  
  
“Make it two then.”  
  
“Somehow I’m not surprised to hear that from you,” Ryuji said.  
  
With everyone in agreement for their plans tomorrow most the group said their goodbyes and left. Makoto, Futaba, and Morgana remained. “Do you still want me to stay tonight?” Makoto asked. Akira nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. He looked to Futaba.  
  
“Can you take Morgana home with you tonight?” He asked.  
  
The grin on Futaba’s face was large and in Makoto’s opinion a little terrifying. So was her small laugh, “Sure!” And without waiting for Morgana to agree or protest she picked him up, “Come on Mona let’s let these two lovebirds have some private time.”  
  
“Hey! Wait! I never said - AH!”  
  
Futaba rushed downstairs, Morgana’s screaming muffled by the steps of stairs. Makoto watched the scene with wide eyes and an uneasy smile, which relaxed when Akira leaned her head against hers. “You seem more relaxed.”  
  
“I feel it.” He said, then yawned. “I think I’m going to sleep pretty good tonight.”  
  
“Well, you should get some rest. Wouldn’t want you dozing off at your party tomorrow.” Makoto said and Akira nodded.  
  
“Yeah.” He said. He put his hand up to his hairline and frowning as he realized how dirty he felt. “I seriously need a bath.”  
  
Makoto gave him some privacy to change out of his clothes and into a fresh pair of pajamas. She borrowed a shirt from him so she could get out of her school uniform and joined him in bed. She did not fall asleep right away, she spent some time on her phone, sitting up in bed as Akira slept next to her, arm loosely wrapped around her waist.  
  
His sleep was a deep, peaceful, and more importantly, undisturbed by any nightmares.

* * *

  
The walls were covered in velvet and it did not take long for Akira to realize where he was. He sat up on the uncomfortable bed, looked through the bars to see three faces looking at him. Two were smiling, one relieved, one triumphant. The third was also smiling, but he always had a grin on his face that made Akira think he was about to be knifed in the back. Akira stood up and walked over to the entrance to the bars, putting his hands on them.  
  
“You’ve returned to us,” Justine said.  
  
“Gotta admit, I’m impressed inmate. I didn’t think we’d see you again.” Caroline said. Akira blinked, it was the nicest Caroline ever was, and he was positive it would be the only friendly comment she would ever give him. Then he turned his attention to Igor, who gave him a dark chuckle.  
  
“Impressive. Just when ruin was about to reach you, the bonds you made with your confidants have allowed you to rise above it. You lost your mask, yet built a stronger one. You truly are the trickster I hoped for.” Igor said. Akira thought his words over, a feeling of uneasy washing over him, but he kept his composure and just nodded, “We will proceed with your rehabilitation. The end is drawing near. I hope you’re ready to face it.”  
  
“The end…” Akira repeated then let a small smile cross his face, “I look forward to it.”  
  
A bell rang and Akira looked up. He knew that noise, it was an alarm telling him it was time to return to the waking world. He got back on the uncomfortable prison bed and closed his eyes.

* * *

  
It was nine in the morning when Akira woke from his sleep. The sun was still low, a reminder that even though it was morning it was winter time. He could see the clouds from his window and slowly became aware of the fact there was some weight against his upper back. A little more awake, he moved and rolled over to see Makoto was still asleep. Akira watched her, a smile on his face, then brought his hand up and brushed some of her hair out of her face. His finger caressed her cheek, and she stirred. She opened her eyes, their red color bright in the dull lit room.  
  
“Hey.” He said and she stretched a little and looked at him.  
  
“Hey.” She said, closing her eyes for a few seconds then opening them again. “You sleep well?” She asked.  
  
Any other day the question would sound odd. However such a long week, Akira smiled and nodded his head. He then wrapped his arm around her and leaned in to give her a deep kiss.  
  
When they were more awake, Makoto got dressed and after the two had breakfast - Sojiro made it for them, - excused herself, wanting to go home to get a fresh change of clothes. Akira went over to the public laundry machines and then the bathhouse. He took his bath while his clothes - including Ryuji’s sweater - were in the dryer. He sighed as he sank into the warm water, and looked down at the scar across his chest, before looking at the cloudy sky.  
  
He did felt better, lighter, like he was alive and even more important like he was grounded. He could still feel some unease tugging at him, but he no longer felt like he was suffocating. His mind wandered to the fact his friends did so much for him and smiled. He then took a deep breath and let himself slide under the water to he could wash his hair.  
  
Once done with his bath and his laundry, he returned to the cafe and put his things away. He then helped Sojiro clean the morning dishes at the older man’s request. “You’re in higher spirits today.” Sojiro said, “Guess I should cancel that appointment I made with Takemi.”  
  
“Huh?” He asked looking up from the dishes he was doing.  
  
“Well, I thought about it and wasn’t convinced a simple energy supplement would help. So I was going to have you come with me today and get her to write you a prescription for an anti-depressant.” He said then grumbled, “Social stigma be damned, lying in bed all day and barely eating is not a sign of ‘just being tired’. You’re not the first kid I’ve cared for whose been depressed.”  
  
Akira smiled and laughed, “I knew somewhere deep down you cared for me.”  
  
Sojiro snorted and rolled his eyes. “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. Punk.” He said, but he was also smiling. “But I’m serious, if you start feeling like you were again, tell me as soon as possible so we can get you some help. Okay?”  
  
He nodded, “I will, promise.”  
  
“I mean it.”  
  
He nodded again. “I know you do.”  
  
The afternoon rolled around and Makoto was the first to enter the cafe. Akira made some coffee for her and himself and took a seat in one of the booths with her. Futaba and Morgana joined them a few minutes later. Ryuji, Ann, and Yusuke were next to arrive, Ryuji getting annoyed as he assured Yusuke - again - that covering the cost of his train ticket was not a big deal.  
  
“But seriously man, save up for a commuter pass. It might seem expensive upfront but in the long run, it’s way cheaper.”  
  
“I will consider it.” Was Yusuke’s answer.  
  
One in the afternoon rolled around and the last person in their group, Haru, entered the cafe carrying a large bag with her, and a huge smile on her face. “Sorry I’m late, the meeting ran over. I got lunch! Where should we set up?”  
  
It was agreed to have lunch up in Akira’s room where there was more space and they would be out of the way. They pulled the table over to the sofa and got several chairs. Haru pulled the bags of burgers and fries out and everyone took one. Akira stared at his lunch. Haru neglected to mention that not only was the burger massive it was messy.  
  
“You sure you want to eat that?” Makoto asked. Akira nodded, a confident grin on his face.  
  
“I beat the big burger challenge, this will be no problem.”  
  
Akira barely got halfway through it before deciding he had enough. Instead, he listened as his friends talked about school and exchanged comments about the sketches Yusuke worked on in the morning, which devolved into bickering between him and Futaba over action figures and poses and her threatening to ‘make him pay’ if he ever tried to use her featherman figures as ‘references’ again.  
  
Akira smiled and treasured the moment in silence, arm wrapped around his girlfriend's shoulder as he and the others talked or played games. He knew when tomorrow came they would be going back to work. They had a corrupt politician they needed to change the heart of and people they needed to save. And he was ready for the challenge ahead.


End file.
